Gaming Paralysis

I play in bursts, at least I do on consoles.
   My handhelds are never too far away from my hands with hundreds of games ready and waiting. Whether its a bit of Sudoku while I wait for my kids to get out of school or go out for a smoke, or a little Force choking of Wookies between commercials. I can't really think of a single day that I haven't turned on either my DS, GBA or PSP.

However, when it comes to consoles, its a totally different story.
   I always blamed it on a variation of the common female illness "Too many clothes in the closet and nothing to wear."  If you're female, this illness has struck you many times, its a quiet and sneaky illness that does not discriminate against age. My daughters have been struck with this illness often, particularly when there's a party to go to and they are not even in their teens yet. 
   I'm still trying to find a way to nicely throw away my husbands clothing so I can fit all of mine in the closet. (If you're reading this honey...I'm just kidding!!! but could we knock down a wall or 2?) From evening gowns to bedazzled Yoga pants, I have clothes for every occasion...but I never have anything to wear.
   So, when I would find myself staring at my xbox or ps2 forelornly for 15 minutes and then finally sighing and walking away. I just figured that my female illness extended to gaming as well. I mean, if you've been keeping up with my posts (and if you haven't I'll cry and demand you do) you've seen my massive To-do List of games. (oh and just to throw in a little more for you to mock...I still haven't finished Castlevania64) A list like that is enough to make anyone indecisive. But  as I sat here rereading my posts I realized something, something I mentioned at the beginning of this post....
     What was this glorious Epiphany?

My handhelds are never too far away from my hands with hundreds of games ready and waiting. Whether its a bit of Sudoku while I wait for my kids to get out of school or go out for a smoke, or a little Force choking of Wookies between commercials. I can't really think of a single day that I haven't turned on either my DS, GBA or PSP.
 
 With that small paragraph I just beat down my own explanation of console neglect. If I have all these games for my handhelds and I play at least one of my handhelds everyday, obviously I have no problem choosing a game, right?
  So what is it that causes me to neglect my consoles? What makes me break out in cold sweat when I reach out to press that big button? (aside from the obvious fear that my console will Red Ring....yeah, I went there.)

Fear of  commitment and a little laziness.
    
   I know, laziness , that makes sense, that's believable, but fear of commitment? I mean, their games, not a date. Though I've read about people marrying their games. I'm not into bigamy, especially with inanimate objects.
  But really, if you stop and think about it and give me a minute to explain, it will make perfect sense.

   Games these days, they are HUGE. Granted that back in the days when I played Donkey Kong games never ended, however, they were just the same 3 levels over and over and over again til it became so fast you spazzed out and died. GAME OVER. No deep story, no playing for 10 hours before you know what the hell is going on. Just jump in with your  3 lives and see how long you last.  Not these days, when even a handheld game can last 20 hours.

  I have 3 kids, a husband and a lot of reruns to watch on TNT. Not to mention all the internet surfing I need to get done. I am also  predisposed to play games full of emo girly-men wearing lots of zippers and belts. This means that any game I choose to play will take more time to finish than the average work week. It also means that when I'm not playing it, my little brain will be smoking as it tries to make sense of the jibberish the emo boys spouted the last time I played and I try to calculate how many hours I have left til the end where hopefully it will all make sense, if I'm lucky AND I still remember what they said 25 hours ago.
  With all this in mind, I know any game I choose will take up a WHOLE LOTTA TIME. Not only time, but also thought, oh, and a very comfortable place for me to park my ass during those neverending, un-pausable, un-skippable cutscenes.
  Now think back...3 kids...3 kids...they must be fed, they must be nursed when sick, helped with homework, and taken to separate corners when they decide to have a battle royale. Don't misunderstand....I LOVE doing all that. Which is why I find myself hesitating most of the time when I decide to fire up a game.
   It wasn't always this way. When I first started gaming I stuck to smack talking pretty boys with reasonably short cutscenes and adventures, such as the Prince of Persia and Dante son of the Legendary Dark Knight Sparda (sorry felt the need to throw that in..also, you think Sparda got tired of explaining to people that he wasn't THAT Dark Knight?).
  Then I discovered Oblivion (what an apt name). I sank HOURS into that game, I spent more time on that game than I think I had collectively spent on all the games I had played since I got my Colecovision in the very early 80's. I never did finish the game, I was having too much fun running around looking at the scenery and commiting suicide off the top of my Wizard Tower.
   When I came out of my Oblivion Fugue I felt really guilty for getting so engrossed in the game for so long. Which I think has led to my gaming paralysis.
  Its a combination of the fear of getting sucked into a game for untold hours and another fear that makes me feel even more guilty....fear of interruption.
  I don't want to be distracted in the middle of an endless boss fight where if I die I'll have to go through another 15 minute cutscene before I try again. I don't want to miss a cutscene of emo boys ranting because if I do, I might miss the one sentence of coherent sense in the whole damn game.
   So there you have it. I fear the distraction of gaming that pulls me away from my family and a fear of my family distracting me from my gaming. Total Impasse.
    Now, I could play during the day when I'm home alone but I usually end up wasting my day on the pc, or reading or watching reruns. Next thing I know, its time to pick up the kids. Not to mention that I encourage them to play as well and a lot of times I defer my consoles to them.
    
   Eventually, I know, I'll get over it and finally finish a game, but, probably no time soon. In the meantime, I keep buying games I never play and watching my kids get better and better at gaming. I can live with that.