Wednesday, September 5, 2012

I need to start keeping a voice recorder or notebook by my bed

Last night before going to bed I totally had all this shit I wanted to write about hakuoki, woke up this morning and I can't remember any of it beyond "okita is a shithead."
Probably cause i'm  having a crap day. I'm ill and I'm like beyond broke and the one bill I couldn't pay is the one that gets directly pulled out of my acct...for twice what I have in there now. YAY.
Also, I decided best thing to do short of jumping off a bridge was kill many robots. So i'm taking my frustrations out by sucking balls at Binary Domain which is a surprisingly cool game. Well worth the $10 I paid for it when it was on sale on Amazon a while back.

So, tonight I'm about to do the unthinkable...Sell off some of my babies to the devil. By babies I mean games and by devil I mean Gamestop... QQ
God, I can't even begin to look at them and decide which ones to let go...Most of my collection is useless to take because they won't give me dick for them and the others...well ...they still wont give me dick for them ,but, I desperately need cash. Maybe I should sell my consoles too. No I'm not jesting or being melodramatic. I have 2 weeks before I see any income and my savings are all but depleted so I cant really do much to tide myself over.

On a plus...Tomorrow my Divorce will be finalized. Of course then after that I have 2 open houses at 2 separate schools for 3 kids happening all at once...brilliant planning by the schools. I better eat my wheaties.

So, sorry, I don't really like to bring a lot of my personal life here, cause stuff like this isnt what this blog is about, but, I feel like I've been totally slacking on this place and I don't want to do that, and I felt I had to explain  why I've been slacking off. Not just to you..but to myself if that makes sense.
so this is a really personal entry and probably one of the most personal aside from my original divorce announcement.

Its funny, $90 a month for my car insurance didnt seem so bad, til the date they withdraw it falls in the middle of me having money. somehow $90 might as well be $900 now.
No wonder Since the divorce drama and assuming the burdens of a house and its upkeep, 2 dogs and 3 children I lost 11 lbs. On one hand, Wow, I'm almost sorta skinny, on the other, I can't imagine stress is the best way to lose weight. Its not even intentional, lately I cannot eat. 2 bites and I feel sick to my stomach.

I was doing alright, making it work and then i thought I could breath a bit easier after surviving the past few months but...additional bills, kids needing school clothes, me needing car insurance and suddenly everything went to hell. Its my fault I know, I should have continued spending 2 hours a day working on balancing budgets and accounts but, I found myself so stressed from robbing peter to pay paul that I felt i needed to step back and focus on the things I was starting to NOT do because of my constant budget-fussing, like playing with the kids and the dogs and even just gaming or writing.

But here I am screwed because of all that. Can't even get a payday loan because i don't have a paycheck to show. I'm sure it will work our somehow once I sell off my games and maybe a console.


War said...

Life is really annoying like that but it's important to try and stay strong, I'm sure things will get better soon enough.

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