I really don't get it

I want to apologize right at the start if the writing in this post is total shit and super awkward. Its been so long since I've actually sat down to write more than 2 sentences on Facebook that I think I've forgotten how to be coherent and fluid. Bear with me, I'm sure I'll get the hang of it again soon enough.

Today's rant shall be....

What's wrong with Handhelds?

Saturday my Vita copy of Final Fantasy X arrived. Of course I immediately cracked that bitch open and started playing. well, continued playing because cross saves are awesome!

As I was playing the game and putting it on standby every few minutes because...kids...dogs...life...I thought about how damn convenient it was. Every time one of my daughters started bitching or threatening to murder the other i just tapped the button on my Vita and put it down in order to threaten bodily harm to the little monsters. Every time my dog decided that he wanted back on the bed that he can't reach, even though I had put him up there 2 minutes ago and he promptly decided to jump off again, I could just put my Vita on standby and grab the little snot up. Snack break, bathroom break, FB break...whatever. Wake up from a nap, roll over and turn the damn thing on and carry on playing right where I left off.

I love my Vita.
I also love my 3DS, PSPs, DSLites and GBAs. At the moment if you look on my bed you'll find 2 PSPs, a case of memory cards and game cards, my Vita and my 3DS right next to my pillow.
Why the hell do I have all that on my bed?
Because i'm indecisive and have total gaming ADD. I'll bounce around from playing FF9 on my PSP to Danganronpa on my Vita to Fire Emblem on my 3DS (that one never lasts long since i suck at it and fail miserably every time i play) then I drop them all and read a little on my phone for a while (Finally on book 4 of A Song of Ice and Fire!).

When I go out I tend to carry a messenger bag with my girl shit (lipstick, phone, tampons, mints) and my handhelds...because you never know when you have 5 minutes to squeeze in some God of War.

So yes, I adore handhelds. I'm more likely to play a game on a handheld than I am a console, which is exactly why I bought a Vita copy of FFX even though I bought the PS3 version as well. I find the pick up and play nature of handhelds meshes well with my life...and its not even like I'm a person who is always on the go. If you know me you know I am a fucking hermit who hates leaving the house unless it is absolutely necessary. So I tend to play my handhelds at home 98% of the time....just a few feet away from my consoles...and my walls of games...because sometimes the only way I'll get to play something and make progress in it is if I can easily turn it on, turn it off and pause it at will even in the middle of a cutscene or battle.

Not much of a rant is it? I mean, you know me. My rants consist of enough Fbombs to nuke a planet and a lot of yelling and rabid foaming at the mouth. So far I've just verbally jerked off handhelds for a few minutes, haven't I?

You see, my rant isn't about why I think handhelds suck. Its about people constantly saying handhelds suck and their reactions to people who like them.

I bought my Vita for 1 game.
Assassin's Creed Liberation.
I bought the Collector's Edition Vita bundle with AC: Liberation.
I played the shit outta AC: Liberation and I really really enjoyed it. I even finished it...to date its the only AC game I have finished, though I own them all.

I heard THIS a lot when that game came out "It looks really good, too bad its on a handheld." "I'd play that if it was on a console" "why the fuck did they make that a handheld game?"
There was so much shit about it that the game finally got released on PS3.

But, that's just one game in thousands.
I've lost count of how many times that same damn whine has been thrown out there "I'd play it if it weren't on a handheld." "handhelds suck, why isn't X game coming out on consoles?"
How about you shut the fuck up and buy a damn handheld if you wanna play the game so badly?? (before anyone gets on my ass about  how expensive a handheld is and how you have no money..STFU, I'm a broke ass bitch with 3 kids and I managed to save up to buy a Vita and I own a shitload of games and consoles. If gaming is seriously THAT expensive for you then you should get a cheaper hobby)

I've been told before that handheld games don't count as "real" games. Well Persona 4 Golden says "fuck you too"

I swear if I could play my Xbox games on some sort of handheld I'd be the happiest bitch on the planet!
Currently when I'm not playing FFX on my Vita I'm playing FFIX on my PSP...Actually, I have FF1-10 between my PSP, Vita and DS that I play on and off. Its just...more convenient for me to play shit on handhelds and I imagine that if I actually had a life and left the house once in a while I'd find my handhelds even more indispensable. I've re-bought games I have on PC or Console on my Handhelds just for the convenience of it.

What is it that people hate about handhelds?
I've heard complaints of a small screen....Look people, I have astigmatism ffs, if it doesn't bother me then you can fucking live with it.
Then there's the complaint of hand cramps...Honestly, holding anything for a long period of time and doing a repetitive motion is going to cause pain. I get hand cramps from playing xbox too long and the 360 controller is built perfectly for my man hands. So, lets throw that one out too.

Here's the one I've heard the most and it makes me wanna start dick punching everyone around me...The graphics.
If your main concern is how shiny and pretty the games you play are then maybe you aren't really a gamer. Graphics do not equal quality. I'll take ugly with fabulous gameplay and good story over a shiny turd any day. But if you really wanna rag on graphics...Muramasa has a Katana it'd like to shove up your ass.
Then there's the argument that isn't solely reserved for handhelds I know, but its still made so it counts, they have no games.

That argument is again a giant crock of shit. As of right now both the Vita and the 3DS have over 500 games  each in their catalogs. If you don't think 500 games is more than enough games to find SOMETHING you will want to play then there's something seriously wrong with you and you should seek professional help because I'm just some ranty bitch on a PC and I can't help your kind of crazy.

This is gonna be all over the place

So, I don't have the brain power to write one coherent post about anything so, I'm just gonna blab about whatever for a bit.

Been playing mostly Vita lately, I really love that damn thing.

So lets see, I stepped away from Persona 4 for a bit, though I love t he hell out of that game. I'd seriously be hard pressed to say who my favorite character is, I love em all...except Rise, she fucking irks me with her cutesy slutty ways.

Tried the demo for Sumioni...its quite pretty but, I feel I need more hands. Way too much shit going on. move with the analog stick or d-pad, X to attack, slash the screen to draw ledges, press the little water symbol on the corner to turn the ink into water to then touch the screen and destroy projectiles, press L to switch to the magic screen and then slash the screen to then hit L again so that the ink becomes fire...Fuck that shit, I'm too damn awkward and spazzy to do all that. so, thinking I'm gonna have to pass on it.

Next I started Uncharted Fight for Fortune, if you've never heard of it, well not surprising. Its a card game. I ain't got no game! I seriously have ZERO strategy at shit like this yet I found myself really enjoying it and playing for a while. Probably play a little more today.

Because PS+ put SC Broken Destiny up free I decided, hey what the hell and downloaded it. Man I had forgotten what utter shit that game is. No actual story mode, just challenges which I suck at because I button mash or quick matches. Not to mention how absolutely hideous the game is. Even the original SC on XBL looks better. Its just one blurry pixelated mess. I actually thought maybe my screen was dirty at first, but no, the game is just fugly. Oh well, I could use the space, my memory card is almost full so, time to hit delete on that.

Also tried playing some AC Liberation. Its a pretty game and the action is good enough but...so far I can't discern any story whatsoever. I also have a big problem with the whole costume change mechanic. On one hand, its pretty cool, different outfits to get you into different places. On the other hand its an utter pain in the ass and feels likes its only there to pad out the game. Do something as the lady and my notoriety goes up, but unlike say AC 2 where I pay heralds and rip down posters to lower it I have to instead run around town shanking witnesses, but not as the lady cause there are ALWAYS witnesses around so I have to do it as the slave, then the slave notoriety goes up, so then I have to run around ripping down posters to lower that. Too much time running around lowering notoriety, not enough time actually forwarding the story, well if I could find a story. Also, I cannot stand the French and Spanish accents. I LOVE playing AC2 cause I love the Italian accents going on but...this game...a "Spanish" Captain was talking to a French Governor and I wanted to stab a pencil in my ears. Thickest Spanish accent I can think of is Antonio Banderas and his accent isn't a third as painful. I mean seriously we do NOT roll our damn Rs THAT hard.

what else...Oh yeah, I got Soul Hackers for DS, haven't played very much of it yet but so far I dig it. While aside from 3D its pretty much a direct port of the game it still looks pretty decent and I'm already interested in knowing wtf is going on with the story so yay. Hopefully I'll get to put a bit more time into that soon. Still haven't gotten back to Mirror of Fate either.

Played some Dynasty Warriors Next as well. I really love all that wholesome DW hack n slash. Just slaughtering a shitload of dudes with a damn fan or whatever. What I DO NOT like is the Duel mechanic on the Vita. So, every so often you run into an important officer and you have to engage in a rubbing match.
you slash the screen this way and that trying to land a hit or break their guard, you hold down a finger on the screen to block and when you beat them down enough you rub the screen furiously back and forth til you fill up the gauge and then lay the smackdown on their candy ass and...it seems there is no rhyme or reason as to what your character will do. Some times I just slash away til their dead, sometimes I can't catch a break and they just smack me 3 times in a row and I'm dead. There's no way to skip the duels or control them any other way beyond furious slashing on the touchscreen. It ruins a perfectly good game. To make matters worse if you play the campaign every so often you'll get a random ass duel challenge from another player and you can't opt out of that shit you have to do it. Really kills my buzz when I'm just trying to get my damn conquest on.
On that note I tried Warriors Orochi 3 finally this weekend, I had forgotten I had bought it a month or so ago. I didn't play much because I was getting bombarded with texts and shit from people (yeah the one day I decide to play a game I become popular. most of the time people don't even know I exist.) I have to say I did not like the bit I played and I love the shit out of the series. I've played 1 &2 both on Xbox and PSP. The whole 3 character switching hacky slashy goodness was there but the very first map I had to fight a Hydra...WHAT? Yeah well I got my ass beat down. Then they added that whole camp/hub thing from Strikeforce. You know the place to go to talk to your officers and to upgrade your weapon and such. I don't know, I'm just not feeling it. I quit right after I got to camp, but I'm sure i'll try again at some point.

I tried to play Assassin's Creed 2 some more but I didn't make much progress, its just too much fun running around finding treasures and doing assassination side missions to bother with the main story yet. I skip the races and shit though cause I fucking suck at them.

After finishing Bioshock I went on over to Gears Judgment just to try and knock that outta the way but...I hate that game so damn much. I just can't get over my dislike of...well everything about it. I don't know, I don't think I'm gonna be able to finish it.

I've also been attempting to get in a bit better shape by playing Dance Central 3. Ok, make fun of Kinect and DC all you want but that shit is FUN. Seriously fun. Its also exhausting, I'm half dead by the time i finish my playlist and damn if I'm not sure as hell the next day. Guess its working.

I'm sure there's a ton of other shit I was gonna say but I'm tired and old and I forget things. If it comes to me I'll post it later.

Castlevania: Mirror of Fate

(lazy me double posting here and on FB :P )

Here's a game no one is talking about and it comes out in 4 days...

http://www.gamespot.com/castlevania-lords-of-shadow-mirror-of-fate/

I adore Castlevania, though Order of Ecclesia was kinda..meh . I can't get into  Lords of Shadow for numerous reasons, one of which is my hatred of spoilers...and man was it spoiled majorly like RIGHT AFTER I bought it.

Console Castlevania games have all been pretty blah to me, except for the cheesiness of Castlevania64 and of course the awesome SOTN. But handheld ones, man I eat that shit up! I've lost count how many times I played Aria of Sorrow & Dawn of Sorrow (Soma FTW!) I also have a slightly unhealthy crush on Juste Belmont...sure his game was an utter c/p uninspired rip of SOTN but he was so much prettier than Alucard.
But, I digress...

So, I haven't finished and don't forsee finishing LoS anytime soon, but I am kinda interested in this one. I need more Castlevania handheld goodness in my life (that sounds...kinda wrong)..also, sappy me teared up watching the trailer for this.

I just can't rap myself around the whole stupid premise of this reboot though. I won't spoil it for anyone else but, i can't reconcile all the Castlevania games I've played with the turn in the story that LoS took. So I guess I'm just trying to decide if the Castlevania game play on another handheld after waiting so long can override my aversion for the rebooted story....

Review: Style Savvy Trendsetters

I like to imagine she's 35 with a gaggle of kids and impeccable style  :p

 WHA-? Style Savvy? WTF? Why would anyone wanna play that crap?
Oh, admit it, you thought it.

Style Savvy Trendsetters is the second Style Savvy game to be released, the first one was just plain "Style Savvy" and it was one of those games that taught me not to judge a book by its cover.

So what is it? Its a fashion game. You start as an employee of a boutique, picking out clothes for customers until you do it enough to move up to having your own boutique. I gloss over that part because its not really that important and its just a tutorial really to get you on your way.
Owning your own boutique is where its at.

While this is a review..or more of an explanation of Trendsetters I think I need to talk a little about The first Style Savvy game a bit first.

I don't even remember how I stumbled across the game but I remember thinking "oh the girls would probably really like that, I should get it for them", at the time my girls were mostly into Imagine games, anything with animals and Pokemon. (They've since moved on to El Shaddai, Call of Duty and Borderlands 2 among others). So I got the game and gave it to them and they were immediately sucked into it. They would come and show me the new skirts they had in stock, the outfits they dressed their characters in the top they designed. I admit, the girly side of me started itching to give it a try while the "real" gamer in me was thinking "icky icky eww!!!"

pictured here, the closest I'll ever get to a $3,000 outfit

I can't really recall how i finally got my hands on it but I did and I could not put it down. For the next 2 months (yes, you heard right...2 MONTHS) I dressed a ton of cartoon girls in clashtastic outfits and competed in fashion shows, while occasionally visiting my daughters' boutiques as well. We got so into it I ordered the game guide...Well it isn't so much a game guide as it is a picture book. Its called the Look Book and basically it just shows you every piece of clothing you can get in game in every color they are available.
After those couple months we cut down on Style Savvy because we had all gotten addicted to Kira Kira Pop Princess but that's another story.

I had no idea there was another Style Savvy game being released until I stumbled on a comment about it on Playfire. I immediately went to watch the trailer and then whipped out my Target card and placed my order. I wasn't disappointed. The game has added quite a few features since the first one and while it could use a few more, the changes and additions are all great and feel like progress.

So I'll start with how you play the basic game...

Client walks in and will usually give you one of 2 approaches to picking out their perfect attire. Either they will tell you they are looking for a specific piece and style or they will ask you to pic something to suit their tastes. I despise the second option. Once you pick out whatever it is they want you get 2 more options...You can tell them to Try it on or Take a look. Try it on is basically just putting it all on the line, its a one shot deal, if they like it you get a lot of mojo (I'll get to that soon enough, and no that isnt what it s called in game) and even the possibility of them buying more items. However, if they don't like it, kiss that sale goodbye because they will leave. Take a look is for those times you aren't sure you chose the right thing. If you ask them to take a look they will either tell you they like it, go try it on and then buy it or they will tell you it isnt what they want and to show them something else. Three strikes and you're out, well, they're out. Sale lost.

Raven Candle, the Goth Lolita store I tend to favor

Its incredibly simple, no?

So now let me break that down...

First, you don't just simply pick some shirts and skirts and send people on their way. You are the manager of a boutique and as such you are responsible for decorating both the interior and exterior of your store to suit the style of clothing you carry (though you MUST have a little of everything always, more on that in a bit). You must also decorate the shop window and dress mannequins to entice people to buy from you. But most important of all, you must keep your store well stocked and this is where it gets really fun.

You start off with only a couple hundred slots for items, and only women's clothing, as you progress you eventually unlock 1,000 slots for women's items and another 500 for men. The game has a buyer's center where the different labels set up shop and you are tasked with going there and using your shops revenue to restock. Certain brands open on certain days with all of them opening on Sundays, so you have to kinda plan it out when you're gonna go restock. An added incentive to restocking is that every piece you buy sends you a sample to your apartment (yes you get an apartment as well and its one of the things that has been expanded).

Looks just like me, no? lol

Each brand carries a specific style, Goth, Princess, Luxury, Girly, Preppy, Basic, etc. and when NPCs ask for items they will usually tell you either the specific style or keywords that refer to them. With an inventory that large to juggle the game gives you a search function that lets you search by everything from brand, to color, to price and everything in between. While it sounds very very easy, you'll find that sometimes, its not that well defined. A person might ask you for something preppy and you end up giving them something they love that isnt part of the "preppy" brand but is still preppy. Or they might ask you to put together an outfit based on their style and of course they won't tell you the style so you have to guess it based on what they are wearing, and because some items cross over into multiple categories you can pick something that you think fits their style only to have them walk out. Sometimes it can be very frustrating trying to figure out what the hell to suggest to someone...and don't think you can look at the stuff they are wearing so you can check out the brand because the game will not allow you to look at what they are wearing even if you have the same thing in your shop inventory. My favorite customers are the ones that want to buy the outfit on my mannequin, that's where the cash is at. and you want that cash, lots of it.

The game keeps track of your store's cash and your own personal cash and gives you places to spend it all.

only place i can have a pretty, neat place...
no kids.

As I mentioned you get an apartment. In the previous game it was pretty much just a place to save your game and change your character's outfit. That hasn't changed, but other things have been added. The game now offers a furniture store and you can use your hard earned cash to buy new curtains, beds, rugs etc and decorate your apartment as you see fit. It has no impact on anything in game but its a fun addition that lets you personalize your space. You can also spend your money buying make-up and colored contacts to compliment your outfits and on hairstyles. These items unlock slowly as you progress in the game.
so you've bought pretty makeup and gotten your hair done, dressed up in your chosen style and...now what? The game has added a photo studio so that for $20 you can immortalize your character's awesome outfits on your SD card. (and I have a metric ton of pics in different outfits).
But wait! that's not all! The game has several locations you can visit alone or with NPCs that invite you. They're just a chance to get a photo op, a bit of chitchat and more mojo.

My Girly yet Sophisticated outfit
that won the final Beginner Contest

Mojo?
You keep using that word...
One of the changes from the previous game is how the game gauges your success. In the previous game you would get stars as you ranked up in contests and sales. This has been replaced in Trendsetters with a receptacle that collects glittery sands. Each sale, each win, each time you meet an NPC somewhere, it drops a small quantity of glitter in the vase. If you fill it to the brim by the time your shop closes for the night, the next morning you will unlock different things, from more inventory space to new makeup to buy. Most of the time its pretty easy to fill it up but there are off days.

I believe I was under dressed for the weather

Days, Nights, Weeks...
There is a day/night cycle and the seasons change as time passes, so you have to keep that in mind when stocking your store and dressing your clients, give someone shorts in December and they will balk. Stock too many clothes from one season and you'll have to take a loss when you get rid of it on clearance to buy more climate appropriate attire.

Not only do you choose your outfits, clients outfits and fashion show outfits but, you will also get new employees from time to time, both male and female and you can change their outfits as often as you like to better reflect the style your store represents. Which style you sell and how you decorate your store do matter. If you decorate in a goth style but sell only hippy clothing, you will have many dissatisfied customers. While you will get people wanting all types of clothing regardless of your chosen style, decorating your store in a specific style rather than a "general" look will get you more clients and more chances to give them exactly what they want.

Final pic when I "won" the game
by winning the Elite Contest

But whats the whole point?
The point is to win the International Fashion Contest and become the greatest Stylist of them all. Though once you win, it doesn't mean game over, you can keep on selling outfits to the fashion clueless as long as your little heart desires.
If you get tired of that, then you can try going online and checking out the styles other players have put together, vote on the ones you love, purchase any you like and make your own outfits to sell to other players. The game also offers local play for 2-4 people where you can compete against each other in fashion shows. While I haven't really tried it and I don't really know how feasible it is, the game also offers a streetpass function, as well as spotpass notifications and the promise of downloadable content to come.

So, I have waxed poetic on a girly fashion show sim haven't I? Gave me a chance to show off my awesome fashion sense. I'm sure no one is going to rush out and buy this game, which is a shame because its a really well thought out game with hours upon hours of gameplay. Its not a difficult game, its not extremely deep but its deep enough to get you invested in building up your boutique and winning contests. Its sad that it will probably be neglected for being too girly, too shallow, too cutesy etc. I'm not a great fan of "girly" games like  the Imagine series, or Hannah Montana, iCarly etc. I've never really liked Sims much either, Yet I found something I didn't know i was missing out on with Style Savvy and Style Savvy Trendsetters. And I intend to keep on playing til I own every piece of clothing in the game. And yeah, I'll throw it out there, if you own a 3DS, you should give this a go, and I don't care whether you're male, female or alien...

Check out the Trailer:

Quick and Dirty rundown

Style Savvy Trendsetters is available on 3DS and in the 3DS e-shop

Simulation game

$39.99

Rated E for Everyone

Local play for 2-4 players

Online Fashion Plaza (player shops) 

Streetpass

Spotpass

*and for those that made it through this whole thing...thanks for reading....here's a free Steam Code for King's Bounty: Armored Princess:
 8BMDD-VX65D-A3Y6Z

*More pics of my adorable character Sihaya, Manager of True To You (oh I know..horrid name for a shop..cheesy as all get out lol)

This week's haul!

Just got my circle pad pro a few minutes ago, so, yay!
Got my stitches out today too, but I think it was too early, cut reopened. Not sure if I'll be able to test the circle pad today.

Bit of a spree

So to cheer myself since I've been sick so long I went on a bit of a spree.
Ordered a Flame Red 3DS, the circle pro attachment and Resident Evil Revelations. I also bid on Cave Story 3D and Tales of The Abyss. I also Pre-ordered Kid Icarus.
woot!

And in order to not be totally frivolous, I also got new glasses today, so I'll be able to read in game text again. Gotta pick em up tomorrow.

gonna finish my little trek through Ferelden this coming week and if anyone is still interested I'll do a "real" review of DA2.

Along with my always uncertain health I've found myself actually gaming more often which is really making me really slack off on blogging. But I'm gonna try to get back on track. I enjoy writing...well ranting lol. And I appreciate you guys that take the time to read my rambling Rants.

As far as games go, I'm enjoying Kingdoms of Amalur very much and after playing the demo to ME3 I'm even more impatient for its release.

Oh, I also pre-ordered The Witcher 2 Dark Edition for xbox. Maybe once I have it on xbox I'll actually play it, because I haven't touched my pc copy.