Danganronpa: Ultra Despair Girls

That was an utter waste of $40 and about 12 hours.

I loved Danganronpa 1 and 2. Aside from a bit of frustration with some of the mechanics in the second game they were solid games. Interesting if a bit annoying with the constant hammering of the words "despair" and "hope". Seriously, it got to the point that the words got thrown about so much I started to forget wtf they even mean...or honestly, to care.
But, if you asked me right now if I liked Danganronpa 1 and 2 and if I would recommend them, my answer would be a resounding YES!
I can't say the same for this new spinoff.

Let's try to see if I can make this spoiler free, shall we?

The game takes place between the events of games 1 and 2 and begins with Komaru Naegi, sister of annoyingly hopeful Makoto Naegi from Danganronpa 1, explaining how she's been a prisoner in an apartment for a year and a half without knowing why or by who. This is interrupted by a killer Monokuma bear ripping through the door and being rescued by some men in black. One of those men in black is self absorbed rich bitch Byakuya Togami, also from the first game. He gives Komaru a megaphone which is actually a hacking gun that shoots code and blows up Monokuma robots...man that is just fucking stupid...anyways he gives her the gun and sends her on her way. Shit happens, crap blows up, people get killed by bear robots and you meet the most annoying little fuckers in creation.

You get captured and brought before the 5 most obnoxious brats in creation and I just couldn't help but wonder..Why the fuck can't I just punt these 5 runts into some walls and call it a day? Game over!
But oh no, that would mean an end to my suffering...can't have that!
So yada yada...bratty kids..evil plot...kill adults make  children's paradise. Why? because adults are evil poopy demons! that's why! My fucking god this is a stupid game. After 20 minutes of boring tirades in high pitched voices...oh and that one kid who is so fucking slow I wanted to throw the vita. I have no idea wtf his deal was cause I skipped all his shit dialogue...after all that, my crying whiny pale faced protagonist got chucked through a trap door and lands  on top of some building where Toko the crazy bitch is waiting.
Toko..I really hated Toko in the first game, I was so not looking forward to any more of this game at that moment.

Toko and crybaby team up to try and get out of the kiddie murder city and a lot of fuckery ensues...anything more would be spoilers so lets move on to the craptastic gameplay.

As I said, Komaru Nag-y has that stupid hacking gun, it looks ridiculous and it IS ridiculous. the game is a straight up third person shooter made by someone who doesn't know shit about third person shooters. The standard monokumas take about 4-5 shots to take down unless you have good aim and shoot them in their stupid glowy red eye. (and with the shit controls...good luck with that).But throughout the game you'll be introduced to a bunch of different monokuma types, like grenade throwing bears and bears with riot shields, you are also introduced to different kinds of bullets with which to tackle the new challenges. Let me be honest, the different kinds of bullets are more a pain in the ass than anything else.
There's a "dance" bullet which you shoot at an enemy and make him..well yeah, dance, then you can shoot him with a regular bullet...5 times...in order to kill him. oh and once you hit him with a regular bullet once the dance effect wears off...so kinda useless really.There's a "knockback" bullet that doesn't do any damage but makes the bears with shields fall over which makes their shields disappear.
All in all there are I think..8 different type of bullets if memory serves.

On top of that you can purchase upgrades called "Bling Bullets" and as far as I can tell they do jack shit. I made sure to buy the ones that were recommended and put them in "excellent" combinations and...I noticed not one whit of difference in gameplay or attack power.
That's one thing...throughout the game you never feel like you progress. you never feel stronger. Enemies are always the same and even if you get a handle on it, they're constantly introducing new enemies and new bullets that just make shit a pain in the ass.

As you level up you get skill points and as you go around you find new skills to use those points on and they are all useless...aside from the nightmare that is auto lock on. seriously, I had to unequip it. It gave me motion sickness. Every time I readied the gun it would whip me around to face every enemy BUT the one I wanted to shoot.

BUT its not ALL bad... as you go through the game you can switch from Bratzilla to Toko and Toko is fun as hell. Toko is strictly melee and wields a bunch of scissors, she's fast, strong and does a lot of damage. She was the best part of the damn game. Unfortunately, this game doesn't believe in fun and so you can only use her in small bursts. She uses a stun gun to become her "other persona" Genocide Jack in order to fight and you can only fight for as long as the batteries last. When the batteries deplete you're stuck with the whiner again. The good news is you can buy upgrades to make Toko time last longer, the bad news is..it still doesn't last long enough to save this game. Boss fights are ridiculously easy and fairly short and you'll have more trouble dealing with the standard enemies than the bosses.

The game does offer some...puzzles but they're more annoyances than anything else.
The puzzles all pretty much have the same set up. You walk into a room with an arcade machine, the arcade machine shows you the next room and you formulate your plan based on the victory conditions. For example, you'll see a room full of regular enemies and a grenade throwing enemy and you'll need to figure out what to do in order to destroy them all in 1 explosion. No worries though, because if you don't complete the objective, just kill them all yourself and you can still get through it, you're rank at the end of the chapter will be lower but that's about the only penalty.

Once you get to the end of the game and everything is explained, you kinda wish it wasn't. The whole thing is just...weak. Actions, reactions, motivations, histories, its all very half assed, I'd love to give you concrete examples but I don't wanna spoil this monstrosity for you. IF you WANT spoilers, well, drop me a line and I'll go into it.

Bottom line is that as a stand alone game this fails, because they drag so much shit from the previous 2 games that it won't make sense without them. However as a part of the Danganronpa universe it fails as well since honestly it brings NOTHING to the table. Nothing from this game will shed any light on the first or second games. Because this game is shoehorned between the other 2 after the fact, nothing from this game affects the other games either.
Even for someone who loved the first 2 games, I can't recommend this and if you just MUST have it...wait for a sale..preferably 50% off or more because this is NOT worth $40 by any stretch of the imagination.

This game truly did make me despair, I lost all hope and joy and happiness while playing this....maybe that was the point? How Meta,

STOP TELLING ME TO GIVE DRAGON'S CROWN A CHANCE!!

As you all know I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE The disgusting, repulsive and insulting character model of the Sorceress chick in Dragon's Crown, and to a lesser extent the Amazon Warrior as well. I've refused to purchase or play the game because of it.

A while back the game was free with PS+ and I happened to add it to my account like I do pretty much all the PS+ games because DAMMIT I'm paying for Plus aren't I? However I never played the game.
Now, I've gotten a lot of shit on several sites for my mild boycott of Dragon's Crown due to the character models.
I've been told to "lighten up" because that's just the artist' "style". I've been told that I "don't have to play as those characters if I find them SOOO offensive. there are other characters" I've been told that I "should give the game a chance" before I criticize.

I thought about all that long and hard...and as someone who plays games that are sometimes off the beaten path and not well known I felt that...well...maybe there is truth to that.

After all nothing chaps my ass as much as someone talking shit about Hatoful Boyfriend or Hakuoki when they have no damn clue what they are about and are merely judging them on a few screens and what they perceive the genre to be about.

So I decided to swallow my ire and try the damn game....after all there ARE other characters right? and everyone tells me the game is better than a bathtub full of Nutella so..fine...ok...

I'm here to tell you right now...
FUCK ALL OF YOU AND DON'T EVER TELL ME TO GIVE THIS FUCKING GAME OR ANY GAME A FUCKING CHANCE AGAIN....
EVER.

Let me run down my experience real quick here...

I chose the Magician. Why? Because he didn't have disgusting tits and giant cellulite thighs and ass exposed and he does magic...and I love magic.

I go through all the basic shit and am given a "tour" of the town and all is well til the shop.
More giant tits shoved in my face unnecessarily...Wonderful. But, I soldier on.

I reach a point where I find out that I can add more characters to my party. You get these characters by picking up bone in dungeons and bringing them to the church to be resurrected. You don't know who these bones will be til you get to the cathedral. I picked up 2 sets of bones and when i go to resurrect them...Its 1 pin headed warrior guy and that hamhock thighed she beast Amazon. I opted to just be short people and only chose the pin head until eventually I was able to pick up bones for another wizard and the only sensibly dressed female of the lot, the archer.
So all's well that ends well, right?

Wrong.

When you complete a quest from the guild you unlock a small written story and some art. Well that's kinda cool, isn't it?
Yeah, it was...until the second quest I completed...

Seriously?
For real?

No lie?

You think THIS is what I want as a payoff for completing a fucking quest?
A grotesque looking, mostly naked elf slut?

This is unnecessary. It adds NOTHING to the story or the enjoyment of the story. Its gratuitous bullshit. And the worst part is...there's no escaping it beyond turning the game off.

I gave the game a fair shake. I decided I wouldn't "talk shit" if I hadn't actually given the game a try and decided I would "just play a different character if that one offends" me.
But that didn't stop the game from shoving its juvenile fantasies in my face, did it?
So now, y'all can STFU.
Veni Vidi and think its disgusting pandering crap.

SO DONE!
Oh and for the record, I think the gameplay is pretty shit too...so no great loss to my collection there.

I really don't get it

I want to apologize right at the start if the writing in this post is total shit and super awkward. Its been so long since I've actually sat down to write more than 2 sentences on Facebook that I think I've forgotten how to be coherent and fluid. Bear with me, I'm sure I'll get the hang of it again soon enough.

Today's rant shall be....

What's wrong with Handhelds?

Saturday my Vita copy of Final Fantasy X arrived. Of course I immediately cracked that bitch open and started playing. well, continued playing because cross saves are awesome!

As I was playing the game and putting it on standby every few minutes because...kids...dogs...life...I thought about how damn convenient it was. Every time one of my daughters started bitching or threatening to murder the other i just tapped the button on my Vita and put it down in order to threaten bodily harm to the little monsters. Every time my dog decided that he wanted back on the bed that he can't reach, even though I had put him up there 2 minutes ago and he promptly decided to jump off again, I could just put my Vita on standby and grab the little snot up. Snack break, bathroom break, FB break...whatever. Wake up from a nap, roll over and turn the damn thing on and carry on playing right where I left off.

I love my Vita.
I also love my 3DS, PSPs, DSLites and GBAs. At the moment if you look on my bed you'll find 2 PSPs, a case of memory cards and game cards, my Vita and my 3DS right next to my pillow.
Why the hell do I have all that on my bed?
Because i'm indecisive and have total gaming ADD. I'll bounce around from playing FF9 on my PSP to Danganronpa on my Vita to Fire Emblem on my 3DS (that one never lasts long since i suck at it and fail miserably every time i play) then I drop them all and read a little on my phone for a while (Finally on book 4 of A Song of Ice and Fire!).

When I go out I tend to carry a messenger bag with my girl shit (lipstick, phone, tampons, mints) and my handhelds...because you never know when you have 5 minutes to squeeze in some God of War.

So yes, I adore handhelds. I'm more likely to play a game on a handheld than I am a console, which is exactly why I bought a Vita copy of FFX even though I bought the PS3 version as well. I find the pick up and play nature of handhelds meshes well with my life...and its not even like I'm a person who is always on the go. If you know me you know I am a fucking hermit who hates leaving the house unless it is absolutely necessary. So I tend to play my handhelds at home 98% of the time....just a few feet away from my consoles...and my walls of games...because sometimes the only way I'll get to play something and make progress in it is if I can easily turn it on, turn it off and pause it at will even in the middle of a cutscene or battle.

Not much of a rant is it? I mean, you know me. My rants consist of enough Fbombs to nuke a planet and a lot of yelling and rabid foaming at the mouth. So far I've just verbally jerked off handhelds for a few minutes, haven't I?

You see, my rant isn't about why I think handhelds suck. Its about people constantly saying handhelds suck and their reactions to people who like them.

I bought my Vita for 1 game.
Assassin's Creed Liberation.
I bought the Collector's Edition Vita bundle with AC: Liberation.
I played the shit outta AC: Liberation and I really really enjoyed it. I even finished it...to date its the only AC game I have finished, though I own them all.

I heard THIS a lot when that game came out "It looks really good, too bad its on a handheld." "I'd play that if it was on a console" "why the fuck did they make that a handheld game?"
There was so much shit about it that the game finally got released on PS3.

But, that's just one game in thousands.
I've lost count of how many times that same damn whine has been thrown out there "I'd play it if it weren't on a handheld." "handhelds suck, why isn't X game coming out on consoles?"
How about you shut the fuck up and buy a damn handheld if you wanna play the game so badly?? (before anyone gets on my ass about  how expensive a handheld is and how you have no money..STFU, I'm a broke ass bitch with 3 kids and I managed to save up to buy a Vita and I own a shitload of games and consoles. If gaming is seriously THAT expensive for you then you should get a cheaper hobby)

I've been told before that handheld games don't count as "real" games. Well Persona 4 Golden says "fuck you too"

I swear if I could play my Xbox games on some sort of handheld I'd be the happiest bitch on the planet!
Currently when I'm not playing FFX on my Vita I'm playing FFIX on my PSP...Actually, I have FF1-10 between my PSP, Vita and DS that I play on and off. Its just...more convenient for me to play shit on handhelds and I imagine that if I actually had a life and left the house once in a while I'd find my handhelds even more indispensable. I've re-bought games I have on PC or Console on my Handhelds just for the convenience of it.

What is it that people hate about handhelds?
I've heard complaints of a small screen....Look people, I have astigmatism ffs, if it doesn't bother me then you can fucking live with it.
Then there's the complaint of hand cramps...Honestly, holding anything for a long period of time and doing a repetitive motion is going to cause pain. I get hand cramps from playing xbox too long and the 360 controller is built perfectly for my man hands. So, lets throw that one out too.

Here's the one I've heard the most and it makes me wanna start dick punching everyone around me...The graphics.
If your main concern is how shiny and pretty the games you play are then maybe you aren't really a gamer. Graphics do not equal quality. I'll take ugly with fabulous gameplay and good story over a shiny turd any day. But if you really wanna rag on graphics...Muramasa has a Katana it'd like to shove up your ass.
Then there's the argument that isn't solely reserved for handhelds I know, but its still made so it counts, they have no games.

That argument is again a giant crock of shit. As of right now both the Vita and the 3DS have over 500 games  each in their catalogs. If you don't think 500 games is more than enough games to find SOMETHING you will want to play then there's something seriously wrong with you and you should seek professional help because I'm just some ranty bitch on a PC and I can't help your kind of crazy.

Oh look A game not meant for us, Let's be assholes.

So this is gonna probably be really RANTY and might even go incoherent when i start raging like a madwoman but...i'll try to contain myself.

This started a few weeks ago when i was looking around for Hakuoki info and stumbled on a short blurb on Joystiq about it. 

The title alone made me want to punch something... "Sexy Warrior Dating Sim Hakuoki: Stories of the Shinsengumi Coming To North America" 

Um..what??

Hakuoki is NOT a "dating sim" but whatever, I continue reading this font of misinformation which mentions how Memories of the Shinsengumi is going to be released in NA in an article written a month after Memories of the Shinsengumi WAS released in NA and find this sentence: "The Hakuoki series is part of the otome (female market-targeted) visual novel subgenre, offering a harem of cuddly warriors for players to woo in a 19th century Japanese setting".

Again...what??

The entire "article" is only 3 paragraphs and the only info on it offered is some dismissive bullshit about wooing cute boys. Words can't describe how much that pisses me off. Did they even bother to glance at the game? I'm guessing not. 

no mention of the fact that it is based on actual history? That these "cuddly warriors" were real men fighting a losing battle at the cusp of the Meiji Restoration? Of course not, that would imply the game might actually have some depth and you just can't have that in a girly little dating sim can you?

Look, I'm not gonna bullshit, I'm not gonna say the game is an accurate  historical depiction of these men, I'm not going to say that you aren't gonna try and win the heart of one of these guys throughout the game. What I am going to say is that there is so much more going on in this game than a girl picking a cute boy to hook up with. 

I'm not going to review the game because I already did that but I will point out here that the "romancing" is a lot more low key than anything the words "sexy warrior dating sim" implies. 

You gain the affection of the men based on your choices throughout the game and those choices are NOT romantic. I'd say that more than gaining their love, you gain their respect. You decide who to follow into battle, will you even go into battle or stay behind. Will you stand up to the villain or do as he says? 

You don't go out for ice cream, the guys don't bring you flowers and candy and tell you you're pretty. Hell they could have cut the "romance" out and it would still be a fabulous story. 

So now that I've defended the game near and dear to my heart I want to move on to the second half of this and yes, I have a point to all this, bear with my rambling style (you should be used to this by now).

A couple days ago I was browsing Steam and saw a Barbie game on there and wondered...wtf? Some guys on my friend list even had it on their wishlist which made me doubly wtf? But you know, whatever floats their boat. I moved on...Til yesterday when a friend sent me a link to a video on Giant Bomb where they did a "quick look" of this Barbie game. Apparently this came about because Rock, Paper, Shotgun had already done a feature on it.

I read the article and got halfway through the video before I felt that if i didn't stop i'd go full blown apeshit and start throwing things. 

Let's get one thing out of the way, I love Barbie dolls, always have. I have never played a barbie game and probably never will. Do I think this Barbie Dreamhouse game is good? From what I've seen I wouldn't play it or like it. HOWEVER, the game is not made for me. That's the thing. It wasn't made with a person like me in mind. 

I could sit here and bash its graphics, the voice acting, the gameplay but ultimately that would mean nothing at all. I think that little girls that like Barbie would probably really enjoy the game. 

I'm not going to even go into the whole crap about how Barbie makes girls have body image issues because frankly i find that a crock of shit and that's a whole different can of worms. 

My problem with these 2 sites and their coverage of the game is the same as Joystiq's coverage of Hakuoki. 

You don't understand it, you don't care about it and yet you waste everyone's time with your bullshit. 

As I suffered through the video I listened to these jackasses make snide comments about EVERYTHING. But, you know, I watch Zero Punctuation, I'm used to snide. It was the fact that they were making these inane and unnecessary comments attributing bs to the game that really got me. 

In one part there's a challenge to put on the outfit pieces shown and while these guys sift through skirts and boots they make comments like:

"If you're not wearing the right shoes you're pretty much garbage" 

"Also never eat, eating is for losers." 

"there's gotta be some fat shaming in here somewhere." 

"Isnt the whole thing fat shaming?" 

"Well yes but I meant more direct."

Afterwards when Barbie is explaining that the whole point of that minigame was that when you're a model you have to chance quickly and that fashion sometimes goes out of style in a flash, she suddenly gets up and changes her outfit which leads to these comments from the guys:

"Who told her that?"

"Her stomach, it was just grumbling at her because she never eats...all you eat is ice cubes and cotton balls"

Afterwards they choose the Kitchen as the next room in the house for a minigame with these comments:

"Kitchen i'm sure there's a a lot of positive messages there" (heavy sarcasm)

"No man will love you if you cant make a meal"

Now stop right there...

Who is making a commentary on the unrealistic expectations of society? The game that has girls picking out shoes to go with their skirt and making cupcakes? Or the douchebags making misogynistic comments in an attempt to be witty?

I don't find the GAME insulting to girls, I find these guys mocking it insulting. 

Fuck you very much, seriously. This wasn't clever. It wasn't funny. It was a bunch of jerks making fun of something that CLEARLY wasn't meant for them.

And there it is...

These games, they're outside of the scope of your average gamer, particularly your average male gamer.

Do I think a game like Barbie Dreamhouse should be reviewed, covered, whatever on a gaming site? 

I don't really know, I mean, I think that for the most part the parents buying it and the kids playing it are probably not people that would frequent such places. However, I know sometimes I want to read up on an obscure game and its frustrating not to be able to find some info on it. 

I can say with certainty however that if someone IS going to put out some info on a game like this it should be done fairly and honestly. It shouldn't be done with the mindset where you are LOOKING to find insult, or to make a mockery of it. 

The Barbie game is kind of a "special case" because its so obviously meant to insult the game...Which makes me wonder why? Why so much hate and negativity towards it? Did it piss in their Wheaties?

The Hakuoki one to me is in some ways worse, because it just shows that no one gave a fuck. Its just a chick game, whatever. Look it has Bishies...and the word "Romance" on the back....yeah yeah..sexy warrior dating, chuck it in the bin and lets move on to COD and Ass Creed. Its kind of a slap in the face how dismissive they are of it. 

Once upon a time I was like that. I remember with shame how i used to make fun of my daughter for playing Imagine games. Now I know how she felt. Being told something she really likes is stupid and she should play "real" games. 

As an experiment for this blog I stepped out of my comfort zone and tried her Imagine games and...it changed me. Not only did I apologize to her and tell her that if that's what she wanted to play then that was totally cool but that experience made me branch out as a gamer. There are so many great games I've played, like Hakuoki for one, that I would never have touched 5-6yrs ago. I probably would have cracked insulting jokes like an asshat too. But I grew up.

I'm not saying you can't dislike a game, I'm not saying you can't give it a bad review. I'm saying that when your ONLY view is to cut it down then you need to leave it the fuck alone. 

I'm saying that because games are geared at little girls or women or little boys or pre-schoolers or whatever it may be that you aren't, it doesn't mean the game is complete and utter garbage. It means it isn't meant for you and you won't appreciate it the way the people it IS geared to will. 

*I apologize for this being so long and being so...EVERYWHERE...its just thit shit like this really drives me up a wall.*

I'm disgusted to be a gamer

That's rather a fucked up statement isn't it?
But, its true.
Right now, at this moment, I'm utterly disgusted at the fact that I'm a gamer.
Care to guess why?
Eh, no need, obviously, I'm going to tell you why.
The thing is, I'm trying to figure out where to start. I don't want to write a novella.
None of what I'm going to say is new. Bitching about it won't change it. But whatever, its my party and I'll bitch if i want to.

What I'm pissed about is female gamers; female gamers and hypocrisy and bullshit.

I wanna start it off by saying something that will probably offend some people (when do I not offend people):  To the guys who call us "sluts with controllers" or make kitchen and sandwich jokes...fuck you, no really, go fuck yourself thoroughly in the ass with a 6 foot splintery pole. I'm sure there's a special place in hell for assholes like you. But, I expect that bullshit from the caveman boys club mentality so I'm not gonna waste anymore time on you.

Bitches.
Bitches is what I wanna talk about.
This is gonna touch on my post from the other day about social media as well.

Because my PC is now tragically deceased, I've had to amuse myself on my phone more often. The other night I was in Instagram and there was a poll of sorts. "Ladies are you a gamer girl or a gamer?" This was accompanied with a bit of text depicting a vacuous "gamer girl" giggling and flirting and a "real" gamer bitching about Rainbow Road.
This isn't a new topic, this isn't a new spin on it.
I commented that I am either/or. I don't care which term is used as long as people are respectful. Other...ladies were a bit less honest and a bit less diplomatic in their replies.
The whole thing was a slew of women replying that they are GAMERS!!!!! because they're REAL and SERIOUS.
Now, I'm not doubting them. Because frankly, I don't really give a tiny rats ass what you play or how often. What DID bother me is that these women accuse anyone that uses the term "gamer girl" as being a fake, shallow attention whore...let me reiterate...this was on INSTAGRAM.

Instagram, land of attention whoring. Why the hell else do people post selfies and their food and their dog and their games and their nails if not to dhow them off and have people "like" them?
There is NOTHING wrong with that. I do it, lots of people I know do it, we like showing off our stuff and having people admire it. That's pretty normal human behavior.
But to be on Instagram calling others attention whores seems ridiculous. Not only that but...(and yes, I checked) most of these women tag their pics with #girlgamer #gamergirl, #gamerchick, #girlsthatgame.
AGAIN, NOTHING wrong with that but, doesn't it make you a bit of a hypocrite to call women who are "gamergirls" shallow attention whores while you are on Instagram and tagging your pics with every variation of "female that plays games"??

I posted a follow up reply to that effect and as expected it was summarily deleted.

24 hours later I'm perusing my Instagram feed which is full of pics of ladies in various states of dress and undress holding games, controllers, plushes or whatever. Showing off their COD stats or their WOW characters. If I see a pic of a girl with a nice collection, or a cool character or whatever, I'll give it a like, its what you do on IG. Especially when you follow places that are all about shoutouts.
But then I come across one where someone comments that someone who only plays 1 game/series isn't really a gamer.
Who exactly made up those rules?
I was in a shit mood so I replied that people define shit differently, if they play a game they are by definition a "gamer" and why does it matter so much to others.

What followed were 2 women who were DETERMINED...on INSTAGRAM...on a FEMALE GAMER SHOUTOUT PAGE to prove that women who only play CoD or who take a pic with a controller are posers and use games as eharmony (that was actually said by one of them).

Lets get one thing clear....I LOATHE Call of Duty. With a PASSION. LOATHE.
Why?
I don't like war games.
I find it boring.
I think a 5hr campaign for $60 is ludicrous.
I don't like MP.
I don't really like very many FPS games to begin with.

But what I loathe more than CoD is people who like to insult others for the hell of it. I loathe people who jump on bandwagons, and have a bully/mob mentality. I hate those that make others feel small because they think they are somehow better.
Oh, are you looking at me and every single word I say?
Hypocrisy I guess.
Or maybe, I back myself up with actual facts. Maybe I fight for shit that is actually important. I mean, it impacts my life not at all if Betty Lou and Buffy run around in Assassin's Creed shirts and don't fucking know the difference between Ezio and Altair. Is it a bit irksome, since |I am mildly obsessed with Ezio? Yeah, I guess, in the way that Florida heat is irksome. Its there, its annoying but if I remove myself from it, my life continues uninterrupted.

If, there were only 1 copy of lets say...The Witcher 2 in the world. If this one copy was in front of me for sale and before I could take it in my hand another person, any person, swooped in out of nowhere, grabbed it and bought it because "oh, the person who buys it will be showered with applause when they walk out of the store and be featured in the local paper" and had no intention of ever actually opening the case, much less  playing the game..yeah, I'd be fucking livid. I'd probably curb stomp the asshole and pry the game out of their hand.
But you see..there ISN'T only 1 copy of the game, of any game, and only 1 copy in the world. Therefore, who plays a game and who just holds the box in their hand affects my gameplay not at all.

But, you may argue, Fake Girls ruin it for REAL girls. People don't take us seriously.
Yeah, that sucks, it does. I know, I go through the annoyance of being treated like an imbecile because some guys assume girls don't play games.

Do you REALLY think that has anything to do with an army of fake girls?
If you do, let me be really blunt, you're a moron.

By and large the men who condescend and who assume women don't play games are small minded, sexist and sometimes flat out misogynistic.
Gaming has been a "boys club" traditionally. That mentality is still going strong. Because you see, Gaming is in its infancy compared to other forms of media.
Not so long ago if a woman wanted her novel to be taken seriously she'd have to publish it under a male pseudonym. I'm not talking about the dark ages either. I'm talking a couple centuries ago...So why would you think that gaming would be any different.

The tides are changing, but they change slowly and its frustrating and its aggravating and its disheartening. I understand that. I'm subjected to the same insults and ridicule. Its why I have an almost clinical phobia of online multiplayer.

But baring your claws at other women isn't going to change anything, at least not for the better.
What it actually does is give these closed minded people something to point at and go "yeah, THIS".
If we spend our time insulting ourselves, trying to unmask the fake and prove how real we are. If we aren't willing to give the benefit of the doubt...why the fuck should the gaming industry? Why should the male gamers that have cherished their toys so long?

Real, Fake, Hardcore, Casual, Gamergirl, Gamer...I'm still gonna spend every dime I can on games and I'm still gonna play and rage and laugh and cry. What I'm not going to do is take time out from MY gaming to go on a crusade to unmask the "fakes" to make myself look "real"

Bitches be trippin'
don't be a bitch.

Inquisitor...Fuck that static!

I apologize...this is a repost of something I just wrote on FB. When I started writing it there it was just gonna be a little blurb and instead turned into a full blown rant and..well you guys know this is where I come to rant...

A while back I bought a game on GOG called Inquisitor, I just saw to day that its been greenlit on Steam.

I have to say that while I utterly loathed this game...not because it was hard (which it is) but because it was fucking boring as all get out..I didn't begrudge it the oh I don't remember I think I paid $10 for it. I mean, I've bought shittier games that I will never play, some of them more than once (don't ask me why).

No, the reason I am starting to REALLY regret my purchase is because the developer comes off as a total prick.

You see, I decided to see what people were saying about it on the Greenlight page and right away I saw the dev being kinda snippy.

Then I clicked on one of the "featured discussions" and that's when it got...interesting.

http://steamcommunity.com/workshop/filedetails/discussion/92965329/846946588482043305/

When someone gave reasons why they didn't like it the dev just showed a "good" review of his game.

when someone suggested that the game perhaps needed a bit of balancing the dev turned it around on the person with this remark:

"When dying almost 100 times, couldn't it mean that the player is doing something wrong?"

I think that dying a lot in a game probably does mean you suck...however games have a learning curve and I would think after a while you get further along without dying. If someone is dying 100 times in your game...maybe the game COULD use a little balancing.

I stopped there in the conversation because...well because it was pissing me off and reminded me of my own little run in with an indie dev...

Some of you might remember that if you ever checked out my blog.. Hack Slash Loot. 

The game is god awful and so I called it god awful with many creative words. The dev graced my blog with their presence (anonymously of course) to tell me that I was "butthurt" that I sucked at their game.

I then went on a little fishing trip and found quite a few people that shared my opinion (even if they did do it with classier words and longer reviews)

I'm all for Indie devs getting their shot. I'm all for devs in general putting out their creative vision and I understand not all games are for everyone.

What I am NOT for is devs with condescending and insulting attitudes thinking they deserve an ass-kissing or that you just aren't worthy of their magnificence.

So..Fuck you Inquisitor...right along with HSL.

~Sihaya

Time to get Anti-Social!

A couple weeks ago I started working on a blog post that I never finished (big surprise there from the Queen of Procrastination).
As usual it was a rambly mess but the broad strokes were about our current need to share everything.
Aw hell, I'm just gonna go ahead and post here what I had written and go from there because thanks to Microsoft and the Xbox One I have more to add to it.

When I go out for a smoke I get bored easily. I'm a slow smoker. Takes me like 15 minutes to smoke a cigarette. Those are my 15 minutes of quiet time in a house full of chaos. To fill those minutes I usually take one of the following:
A book, a DS, PSP, Vita or phone.
Lately my phone has been winning. What do I do while on my phone? Why play Candy Crush Saga of course.
If you don't know what Candy Crush Saga is, its a match three type game where you match little candies in increasingly shitty game boards with a limited number of moves. When you run out of moves and lives you have the option of buying more or asking your friends on Facebook for more moves.
I'm not going to go into the whole pay to play thing at the moment, what I wanna talk about is the whole "bug your Facebook friends for more moves" aspect, just not in the way you think.
No, I'm not gonna talk about how no one wants those stupid requests clogging up their feeds, lets talk about the whole "social" thing that those requests are a part of.

Let me back it up a bit more though...

Long Long ago, before the internet and during its infancy we played video games and as long as we've played games we've been competitive.
Whether you were leaving your initials next to your high score at the arcade or laughing at your friend sitting next to you on the couch because you got farther in Mario Bros. We've bragged, we've shared, we've tried to outdo each other.
Being competitive is part of our nature, being social is part of our nature but in this day and age we've gotten hooked on sharing and bragging about the completely unnecessary.

Don't think I'm saying this as someone above it all. I'm just as guilty as the rest. This isn't a condemnation, but more of an observation and i'll be sharing some of the moments where I have caught myself in the midst of that ridiculous need to show and tell. (not talking about the time I felt the need to share my Shamrock shake, moments even more ridiculous...if that's possible)

Today I got Thor God of Thunder in the mail (I have an unhealthy obsession with Loki) and what did I do after ripping into the packaging and removing my loot? I took a pic and posted it on Instagram and Facebook to share with the world.

So where I was going with that is that much like everyone else these days I'm a social media attention whore.  Thanks to all these sites and smartphones we share everything from new games to our fucking lunch and its getting ridiculous. When I turn my Xbox on it tells me how many friends are online and what they are playing.   When I log onto an MMO as I'm playing I get pop ups on my screen telling me "chubbo the lonely just created the gloves of greasy doom +5" even though I have no fucking idea who that is or why I should care.

There are a billion sites dedicated to sharing your business and specifically for gamers to share their business. I'm a member of a few...Raptr, Playfire, Metagamerscore, Trueachievements...probably more that I joined and never go to.That isn't counting the fact that consoles allow you to see your friends stats, send messages etc. Plus these sites link up to facebook and twitter and instagram and all sorts of other shit.

But, do we REALLY need all this?
Do you need to know that my kids and I watched 64 episodes of Invader Zim?
Do I need to know you unlocked an achievement for 100 headshots?
Do we need our entire lives chronicled and shared 24/7?

As I said, we are social creatures and we like sharing but...have we become obsessed with it? and is that healthy?

So, the new Xbox was revealed on the 21st.
I will start this by saying... DO NOT WANT.
I have a billion reasons for this but that's not an issue at the moment. Well, most of it isn't.
The one thing that IS relevant to this topic is...well most of the reveal.

Some things that stood out were the requirement for the kinect at all times, the requirement to be always on and before you jump down my throat about how it doesn't need to be ALWAYS on and only needs to connect once in a 24hour period..that's just splitting hairs. That is basically needing to be connected always, and the one that really gets me...Trending.

Trending...we already have this everywhere, including the current Xbox. A place we can see what's hot, what people are playing, watching, doing. Its spread out through the different areas of XBL but its there and I don't care for it.

I'm gonna say it right now, Most of the time, I don't give a tiny rat's ass what the fuck other people are doing and I don't think they care what I'm doing. Do we need an entire area of this consoles UI dedicated to shit others are doing? Do I need my console reporting to Microsoft and the world every little thing I do? Does the Kinect really need to be plugged in all the time? How do I know that shit isn't gonna watch me while I dance naked with a mop?

We share too goddamn much already. This blog itself is a study in attention whoring to the max. Its all about me, me, me and more fucking me.

I have friends that won't play certain PC games because they don't offer achievements on Steam for them to show off.
I have friends that won't play Ps2 or other older consoles anymore because they can't show people what they are playing or how many hours they've put into a game.
Since when did gaming become more about showing off than it did about playing games for entertainment and enjoyment?

This new Xbox is perpetuating and encouraging this kind of shallow attention whore behavior and we're all buying into it. We are cheerfully handing over our privacy and even compromising our own self and personalities (how many times have I heard people say "oh I won't watch/play that because I don't want it coming up on my feed where other people can see it" even if its something they want to watch/play) just for the hopes that someone will think we are cool because of what we play/watch/listen to.

Worst part is, we are ALL buying into this over-sharing society, even me, I don't count myself above it all or whatnot.
I'm not really sure where all this is going but its not going anywhere good. We are changing in subtle ways, seeking approval from others more than before, giving away our individuality and our privacy gladly and while it seems so trivial now, where will it go?

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go post a pic of my breakfast on instagram, I'm  sure others are DYING to see my cup of coffee and Nutragrain bar and can't find  meaning in their day til they have seen them.

Been working on something but its not done yet so enjoy this instead

So, I recently bought Thor God of Thunder, you know, the movie tie in game to Thor. Reviews say its utter and complete shit.  Gave it a 2.0. blah blah.
I don't listen to reviews.
But it is a movie tie in game so its probably gonna suck.
Started playing it last night.
Really fucking enjoyed it. Color me shocked.

So today, thanks to Raptr and Playfire and all those other lovely social sites everyone knows I played it. and everyone is telling me it sucks. And I'm fucking sick of it. Because well, who are they to tell me what to play or not play, like or dislike?
After I ranted on FB about it, I decided to check out my collection of games for other  crappy games.
I posted this on fb and now I'm posting it here.



So, I decided to browse a bit of my game collection see how it rates. Most of the shit on my collection is so not popular it was never reviewed by like Gamespot or whatever but there's plenty of 4.0 and below.
Lowest rating:

Thor (of course) at a 2.0
Xena Warrior Princess 2.8

Xena was pretty meh. it was a really really bare fighting game...I loved the shit out of it back in the day, cause.. Xena...FUCK YEAH!

Soul Calibur Legends 3.5

I almost dislocated my fucking shoulder swinging my Wiimote playing this. Good times. I can't tell you the story...I totally skipped all the talking cause it was lame. But the flailing like a retard was super fun.

Lux Pain 3.5

LOVED this game so much. I actually reviewed this on my blog when it came out. Its got some bad things but overall, its so worth playing.

Dynasty Warriors 6, Warriors Orochi, Warriors Oroch 2 4.0

Yeah...well these are love or hate from what I've seen. I love em.

Gauntlet Legends, Gauntlet Dark Legacy 4.3

I can't begin to tell you how many damn hours I spent playing Legends on N64 and later Legacy on PS2. Can't decide if I hate the Ice or Poison world more and Fuck you Chimera!

Blade Kitten 4.5

I
Love
This
Game
I suck at platforming but I don't care. I love everything about this game and I'm pissed that it sold badly because I need the next episode!
Kit is adorable, the game is adorable, it was fun as hell thought sometimes it made me cry and it took me forever to figure out how to fight the final boss but I did it and I finished the damn thing!

I could go on but that's enough.
I have plenty of high rated games too, and they're great. But that doesn't mean that anything scoring lower than a 7 is terrible or that reviewers are infallible.
Everyone has different tastes and my taste might suck but its mine and apparently they make shitty games just for people with bad taste like me.

I don't go tell you that what you play sucks whether I think it does or not, so, don't do that shit to me.
You wanna discuss and debate the good and bad points of a game, sure, no problem.
You wanna be a dick? move along.

Bioshock Infinite- Part 2

So yesterday was an amazing day..I actually finished a game! Pity it was Bioshock Infinite.
All people care about is "is the game good?" "would you recommend it?"
Ok, yes. I would say yes to both. HOWEVER, I can think of 10 other games I'd rather play than this one.

My dislike of Fitzroy, Comstock and Booker never changed. If anything I despised them all even more, particularly Booker. I wish I could explain why but then I would spoil the shit outta the game for you.

The ending had a great twist but somehow just didn't impact me as much as the original Bioshock's "Would you kindly".
There really isn't anyone or anything in this world to like or cling to.
Yeah the fighting is fun enough ,the scenery is pretty enough, the story is decent enough but that;s just it. Its just enough, sometimes barely that especially when you get behind the reasons WHY characters chose the actions they did.

I'd put the twist in this game on a par with the last episode of The Walking Dead game (the Telltale one, not that other...thing), feels like they wrote themselves into a corner and just threw in the out last second.  It doesn't ring true when you start to really think about it. Too many holes, too many leaps...Instead of making me question human nature and the acts that shape and change us it left me thinking, "do you people understand ANYTHING about human beings?"

Now, you could argue I'm nitpicking fictional leaps in thought in a setting that has magical powers and George Washington robots shoot the fuck out of you. But the thing with fiction is, its always based on reality no matter how many turns it takes. And while you can be given a bit of leeway if you were following the thoughts of say....a dragon, you play as a human being, therefore, regardless of settings, his actions should make sense and they really really don't.

Now you'll say that I'm missing the whole time travel, multiverse shit. but that's just it, its shit. Really shiny tinsel covered shit to make you forget that the story is a bible thumping jaunt through horrible people doing horrible things to other horrible people. You can multiverse til the cows come home and you STILL won't make any of these people likeable or less cartoon villainous.

Still, for all that, I did enjoy the actual gameplay, except I wish that bitch would stop chucking shit at my head all the time. My biggest complaint, besides the fucking sky hook crap is that Vigors don't really mean shit. In Bioshock you used the HELL outta plasmids, they were part of the story, they were the CAUSE of the story really. But here, vigors are kinda just...there. To be honest I quickly fell into a very unexciting routine.. Murder of crows, shoot everyone while flailing about. Oh robot? Shock Jockey and fucking SHOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I rarely had any need for anything else and if I did use anything else it was more just because that actual need.

Its an odd game. I dislike it for a million reasons I could rant about all day, yet I liked it and I'm hard pressed to tell you why.
Of course, I'd rather play Bioshock Infinite than keep suffering through Gears of War Judgment. (I know I know, in a court of law judgment is spelled correctly but it STILL bugs the fuck outta me.. I NEED that E!)

Bioshock Infinite

So, I've been playing Bioshock Infinite which everyone assures me is the greatest game on God's green earth.
I haven't finished it, and I'm gonna try to do this spoiler free so if I'm vague in proving my points, I apologize now.
These are MY opinions, your mileage may vary.
My typing sucks ass, sometimes I miss words, sometimes I miss punctuation, I love ellipses too much and I ramble.

Now that I've gotten all that outta the way for the uptight neurotic assholes that like to rag on me, I'll share my thoughts on Bioshock Infinite. (If I missed any disclaimers about content or execution...FUCK YOU)

It started well enough, reminiscent of the original Bioshock with the lighthouse in the middle of the ocean. Of course I went up instead of down and that was good too. Then I got to the world's most egotistical cathedral  dedicated to The Prophet and his wife while creepy people praised the Founders. I was Baptized half to death Praise The Prophet! and I've been getting  bible  Prophet thumped ever since. Seriously, I am so fucking sick of hearing about the prohet, from the prophet, about his wife and his lamb and his crap. I DONT FUCKING GIVE A SHIT ! Just point my gun in the right direction assholes.
The story tries so fucking hard to be edgy and controversial, deep and meaningful and its just a lot of fucking jibber jabber.
You ever read about the Civil War? Imagine the whole slave arguments and shit took place in a floating city. Congrats! Welcome to Columbia.

Not saying that Andrew Ryan didn't spout a latrine full of bullshit in Bioshock 1 but, somehow it didn't sound quite as pompous or boring as Comstock's rhetoric.

You see, in Bioshock, Ryan's philosophies  fit. The city reflects his ideals, even the chaos that ensues reflects them. No Gods or Kings only Man. In a world like that, I can imagine Plasmids being created, people abusing them and going batshit. it works.

Please tell me where in an ultra religious world magical powers fit in? Because going just by history we know that people who knew just a little more about herbal remedies than others were systematically burned at the stake. Right there I hit a major disconnect. A world of ultra-conservative, xenophobic bible thumpers regularly swigging down bottles of "Devil's Kiss" in order to throw fire grenades from their hands or drinking some "Possession" to control machines and people around them. Yeah, that makes EPIC SENSE. Hell even today, with all the technology and all the "forward thinking" people in the world, you start shooting lightning from your hands, you're gonna get fucking dissected. If you're lucky they'll put you to sleep with painless meds rather than let the crowds stone you to death.

Then there's the matter of Elizabeth...no no not the whole magic tears in reality shit...I don't care how many fucking books she read, how can the bitch A. Pick locks like she's picking her teeth after dinner, find random money, ammo and salts  constantly, has no problem keeping up with me on those goddamn sky hook rails, crouches down in the middle of a fight and magically never gets hit by a bullet or a fist or some fucking hand lightning.
...if you are obsessed with going to Paris...why do you know the coordinates to New York? Just sayin'

The Vox Populi/Daisy Fitzroy are no better than Comstock and I despise them equally, though luckily I hear considerably less propaganda shit from them. Can't go into details, spoilers, but...that was a very unsatisfactory faction/leader.

Booker...oh Booker...I wanna love you, despite the hideousness of your face in that one commercial, you're pretty damn smexy...and Troy Baker...DAT VOICE! However, he's a self centered douchebag and I'm not sure if I wanna punch my enemies or my own character in the head repeatedly.

The city of Columbia is indeed beautiful, the people however are stiff mannequins with zero facial expressions. That's kinda off putting. I find myself using only 1 power 90% of the time and 1 gun.
Oh and that much vaunted sky hook ability thing... FUCK YOU HARD.
I seriously had to pause the game at one point for about 20 minutes while i tried to keep my lunch down. Every damn time I have to use those rails I get severe vertigo. Its confusing, dizzying and nauseating. I HATE it with a passion. As an optional thing, it would have been ok but being forced to go up and down those fucking rails defeating enemies and then trying to find the place you are going and landing there...yeah no. On the flip side, smacking people in the face with the sky hook is pretty fun.

Overall, its a good game. Combat is fun and a little challenging. Booker can say some pretty amusing shit from time to time and i'm invested enough that I plan on going back to it and finishing it soon but, its not the miraculously amazing game everyone makes it out to be. Its trying too hard to recreate the magic of the original Bioshock and it just falls short of the mark.

oh and one more thing....WTF do they have against maps?????

Game Difficulty, true measure of gamer worth or a masochist endeavor for bragging rights?

"Back in the day there were no checkpoints or difficulty levels, you died and died til you learned the patterns, it was pure skill" 

I've heard that a lot on various gaming sites from various gamers.

Mention games that caused massive controller breaking rage due to difficulty and you'll hear, Battle Toads, Contra, Ninja Gaiden. Now people will say Demon's Souls and Dark Souls. 

You'll also hear some gamers proclaim that these games measure a "true gamer". Only a "true gamer" can get through these incredibly hard games and anyone who can't isn't a real gamer. 

Really?

As gaming evolves and embraces more people from all walks of life, the definition, if there ever was one definition, of gamer also evolves and changes. This means that games have to adapt to the influx of gamers, not the other way around.

I've had discussions before with gamers about game difficulty. I have said before and I will say again, I usually start a game on Normal difficulty but I ain't too proud to go Easy if I need to. I game to relax, to immerse myself in different worlds and do things I can't do in real life (like throw fireballs or rip someone's arm off and beat them with it...we'll talk about violence in games some other time though). Gaming is a large part of who I am but the difficulty I play at doesn't define me as a person. My life creed is "if your entertainment stops being entertaining and fun, its time to move on". So, for me gaming is entertainment, its stress relief, its fun. 

During these conversations I've had with others I've been told that playing a game on easy is pointless and a waste of money. That playing on Easy defeats the designer's and developer's game mechanics and point. I've even been told that if I'm just going to play on Easy I should just watch a movie instead.

Why?

First is that obvious question...how do my gaming habits affect someone else? Obvious answer, they don't.

Second is, If the game comes with an Easy or even a Very Easy option, it means that the developer put it in there, so I'm not ruining their artistic vision. "But Dark Souls" you'll say...Yes, what about it? "It has no difficulty options"...Yes, what's your point? I don't play Dark Souls, because its too difficult and frustrating. 

Obviously These games were intended to be punishingly hard. Many people will play them and love them, many people will not. The developers were aware of this and chose to go this route. I respect that, but I won't spend my money on their games. I won't spend hour upon hour in growing frustration replaying bits of the game and memorizing patterns and enemy locations because, after all is said and done and I reach the end, what have I proved? My skill? My ability to control rage? My determination? Perhaps, but overall I've proven nothing except that I'm a masochist. There is no glorious prize at the end of the rainbow except bragging rights. If I complete these games I can say "I FINISHED THIS GAME!!! KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!" Which truly changes nothing in my life at all or yours, or anyone elses. 

"But you feel accomplished when you complete a hard game"

I squeezed out 3 kids, I already feel accomplished. I managed to get my fat ass outta bed today, I feel very accomplished thank you. 

I played Hakuoki Demon of the Fleeting Blossom 7 times recently. Its an Otome game. A text adventure game for women. Though honestly, I think its a great story that everyone should play but I digress. Obviously, a text adventure isn't difficult, yet I feel accomplished. Because I played through all possible outcomes. I also learned a hell of a lot of history as well. Does anyone care that I finished 7 times? Not really. Did I enjoy the game, very much so. THAT is the important part. 

I. ENJOYED. IT.

Right now Gaming is like the damn Gold Rush. Thanks to Facebook and the Wii and Smartphones and Tablets people of all ages (and some rally smart pets) can be introduced to the joys of gaming. Whether you consider a Facebook game a "real game" or Angry Birds, the fact of the matter is they ARE games, they are interactive media, they are entertainment. Gamers are no longer those people that dedicated weeks to memorizing the exact pattern to the final level of Battletoads. Gamers are Elementary School kids, That little old lady that walks her Sheltie past your house twice a day, your homeroom teacher. 

In my opinion these people are TRUE Gamers because they don't care about leaderboards or trophies, they don't need to prove their skills, they play these games, these apps, these time wasters for entertainment, for fun, to pass the time. 

Here's the thing Video Games are GAMES. The first definition of Game in the dictionary is: 1. An activity providing entertainment or amusement; a pastime.

Nowhere does it say: a frustrating enterprise that might result in rage or tears.

You know why I game on easy instead of watching a movie? 

Cause I fucking feel like it. Because I want to BE in the story playing an active role. That role could be picking choices in a "choose your own adventure" type game or kicking alien ass in Mass Effect. Nowhere does it state that my role in the story has to be difficult, painful or frustrating. That's what I game for, so my character, my Avatar can go through drama while I eat Doritos during the dramatic cutscenes and stab things with pointy things in between. 

Does that make me less of a gamer? No. By definition I play games, therefore I am a gamer. 

"But", you might say, "you're really not bringing anything new to the debate. If you don't wanna play on hard that's fine why are you calling people who do masochists? Why are you taking issue with them if you expect them not to care about how you game."

Because I'm a hypocrite, we've established this in numerous blog posts. 

But, not only that, Because in these discussions, not only are the people who play on easy decried as posers, but, there's a general call from the "hardcore" to do away with easier game settings. They demand you "go hard or go home".

See THAT is when I get my knickers in a twist

You wanna be a masochist? You feel a great sense of self worth for beating a game that made you break controllers, scream, rage, waste hours upon hours to get through a single boss. Yo, knock yourself out. I. Don't. Give. A. Shit.

You wanna put an end to "Easy" settings because you think playing on hard somehow makes you better? Fuck. You. 

There you go, that's my reason for being a hypocrite and getting all up in other gamers' faces about difficulty. Cause playing on nightmare doesn't make you better than a gamer that plays on easy. Because you're forgetting that games are supposed to be a pastime, a FUN pastime and playing on difficult isn't fun for a lot of people. Because I'm sick of gaming on easy being equal to watching a movie. I don't know about you but, I didn't get to punch anyone or use a batarang once while pretending to be Batman ONCE while watching The Dark Knight. But I did get to do that playing Arkham Asylum, on Easy. 

BTW...I have Demons' Souls...it makes an excellent frisbee for my dogs. 

Why I'm done with Kotaku

Long ago, when I started to get really into gaming I started reading Kotaku. It was a fun place with a nice mix of news and fluff. Most of the fluff was contained in night and day "notes" from one writer to another.
Every other day there would be someone screaming "HOW IS THIS NEWS???" and others would shout back "ITS A BLOG GET OVER IT".

As time passed, Kotaku has changed their format more and more, they added more opinion to less news every day. They style themselves "game journalists" and their site a "gaming news, review and information site"  yet ares till quick to shout down complaints of "how is this news?" with "it's a blog".
I don't think you can have it both ways. If you're going to be a news and information site then you need to provide news and information. Fluff is good, it has its place (like s'mores or hot chocolate) but it shouldn't drown out the news.
News...
 Much of the news they post now is hours if not days late compared to other sites. Hell I live in my own lost little bubble and I've linked or posted stuff before them on my FB.
The site these days can be summed up into a few categories: Live journal, titillating cosplay, opinions everywhere, stuff I read on another site yesterday.

In the past couple of months of skimming through their site I've heard all about a woman who realized her marriage was over when her husband failed to revive her character in Diablo 3. A chick who due to being a rape victim and having a crappy childhood thinks Juliet Starlet (Lollipop Chainsaw) is a good role model and the chick she'd like to be. A guy who claims violent video games don't make you violent but since the Sandy hook shit he's trading in all his "violent games" like Asassin's Creed 3 (because we know how much Tomahawking went down in Sandy Hook. (no I'm not making light of what happened, so keep your bitching to yourself). There's so much more of this crap I could point out, most from the same author.

But, its a blog, you say.
It is, a game news blog, a "trusted" resource for gamers and as such they not only offer insights into their own fucked up neurosis (I do that too, difference is, this IS a fucking blog. I don't get paid, I don't claim to be a journalist and I freely admit I'm full of shit) they also provide game reviews.

Now, Reviews are a touchy thing. I mean it doesn't matter HOW objective you try to be, you will always color the review with your own personal feelings, and lets be honest, if reviewers just made a list of bullet points you wouldn't read it or care. You read them in the hopes of getting a feel for a particular game. Learning a bit about story, mechanics, graphics, and just overall experience. We read many reviews for a single game, to compare and contrast what each person had to say and we either dismiss the opinions,the game, or both.

Today I read a..well i'm not sure what it is..its tagged as both "import review" and "opinion" but thats only if you look a the tags, the main tag right over the title is "Import Review" so I'll take it as a review of the game.
The game in question is Yakuza 5.

Now I will say right here and now, I am utterly biased. I first read about the first Yakuza game for PS2 months upon months before it was released and on release day I went to Gamestop as soon as they opened to get a copy of it. I LOVE the story and I love Kazuma and I'm still upset that Kenzan! was never brought overseas cause man i wanted that SO BAD!
Admitting that I will also admit I might be biased but not blind. I have my nitpicks about the series and much like the Dynasty Warriors series that gets so much crap for its "problems" I will freely admit its shortcomings and add that I don't give a crap because I find them fun. However, were I to review the game I would share those cons along with the pros. Because fair is fair.
Even in my most ranty, vulgar review, I tried to be fair, I did concede and admit I suck at a lot of types of games and that perhaps that type of game isnt my thing. However I went and played a few more games in the same vein and realized that nope, i was right, game blew. But I'm getting off topic.

The review is titled Five Reasons Yakuza 5 is Not for ME. Ok then, why the hell are you reviewing it then? If your opening is that you don't like the game, why are you the one reviewing it? I wouldn't review a Madden game, cause I don't like sports games. But whatever, par for the course on that site. I begin reading and snorting and rolling my eyes and getting more and more angry.
Every line I read, every piece of misinformation and baseless complaint made me madder. even the points we agreed on were written in such a way I could not credit them. Then came the magical moment where I literally saw read AND burst out laughing at the same time.
After recovering my sanity I called my children over. I put forth to my 8yr old son and my 11yr old daughter a question...

Guys, I said, IF you have 5 different people, in five different cities, with five different skill sets and you switch from one to the other and you were at say...level 15 on the first one, would you expect the second one to be at that level?

They both shook their heads and I asked, ok what would you expect?

My daughter spoke up, I'd expect to start over at level 1.

me, why?

My son, Cause they do different things so they'd have to start over.
My daughter chimed in to elaborate on what her brother said "because you're different people in different places with different styles and you wouldnt know the same things so you have to learn the different stuff.

so why is it my kids "get" what this reviewer did not?

From the review:

#4 — Start From Zero Again and Again

Each time you complete one of the game's five sections, you start as a new character in a new city. This would be fine, except you start again at level one and all your skills are gone as well. It felt like all my hard work had been for nothing and that I was being forced to start the game over. It was almost like being punished for playing the game as intended. It left me incredibly demotivated.

 Other complaints this person made were the amount of random fights, the lack of checkpoints and the unskippable conversations (someone did point out to them that the conversations were indeed skippable.)

Though Yakuza has been compared to GTA a lot it really isn't. While the setting might seem similar I think Yakuza is more of an RPG than anything else. As such, Random encounters are par for the course. I admit that I myself found the amount of random encouters in the Yakuza games annoying sometimes, particularly when I just wanna get to the next street over and all i hear is a high pitched "Whadda Fuck!"  for the umpteenth time. But, much like in traditional RPGs there's a reason for this. Those random fights help level you up, they help you develop your skills and learn the move sets so you can defeat the bosses that pepper the story. Without them you'd be grossly unprepared.

Checkpoints, again, mixed feelings. Yes, I prefer games that offer a save anywhere function, however, this isn't exactly Demons Souls. Checkpoints are set at decent intervals and as long as you play through the game as intended, you should get through the game with minimal difficulty or frustration.

Finally, The complaint that conversations are unskippable...ok..I...you know what? fuck it I'm gonna go all fucking ranty angry all caps pissed off wanna kick you in the junk type mad now...WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOUR FUCKING DUMBASS PLAY A MOTHERFUCKING GAME WITH A MOTHERFUCKING STORY AND FUCKING SKIP THROUGH IT ALL. WHY????? WHAT IS THE POINT???? IF YOU JUST WANNA GO FROM FUCKING FIGHT OT FIGHT THERE ARE TONS OF FUCKING FIGHTING GAMES OUT THERE. PICK ONE DUMBASS!!! DON'T FUCKING SHIT ON A STORY BASED GAME BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO FUCKING IMPATIENT TO FUCKING SIT THROUGH SOME FUCKING EXPOSITIONAL DIALOGUE DUMBFUCK!!!

...
out of breath now...give me a sec.
...
Sorry, I'm better now.

After reading all that (if you did) you might wonder why, besides my obvious fangirl love of Kazuma and Yakuza am I complaining about a review full of opinion if I do the same thing here all the time.

Maybe because I'm a hypocrite.
Maybe because I tend to play and review (in most cases) games in genres I enjoy. Maybe because I am VERY upfront about it being my personal opinion and if you want a very professional and technical review there are many professional sites to visit.

Mostly because Kotaku styles itself a Game Journalism site, because they post their Reviews as an official and professional view.

Mostly because anyone who starts their Review with this paragraph:

Until I sat down and played Yakuza 5, my knowledge of the Yakuza series was limited, to say the least. I knew the characters and some of the story (from wikis, friends, and the movie), but when it came down to playing the series, the most time I had spent with it was in playing the demos of Yakuza 3, Yakuza 4, and Yakuza: Dead Souls. While I don't have particularly bad memories of playing those demos, none inspired me to go out and buy the full games.

Should not be allowed to give the sites "official" Import Review of the game.

For a while now, ok for years, I've watched the "star" commentors on Kotaku leave or get banned. I've watched the format change and the comments section become a trolling bonanza. But most importantly I've watched the site itself become one big jumbled mess of  mixed messages, garbage and fluff. Its all sensationalist writing for pageviews and all the writers airing their dirty mental health laundry. You wanna do that, its cool, but do't do it on a "professional" site.

Today's review is the straw that broke the camel's back and the thing that has led me to finally deleting Kotaku from my Bookmarks for good.

Worst part is, "official" reviews like these are the kinds of things that keep certain publishers from bringing their games here...So keep opinion where it belongs people. You do your readers a disservice by passing this garbage as professionalism, journalism, truth or fact.

Lets Talk about Games Bay-Bee Addressing some...aspersions cast on my ability to discern a good game from a bad one

Sorry, I'm old, Salt n Pepa just popped into my head...google it, lol

So, I finally stopped buying games. YAY for my bank acct. The enitre list is kinda outta hand and on my FB if anyone cares.
But, I have actually been playing games lately too.
what have I played lately?
Fuck if I know, I have gaming ADD and switch games constantly.

I also finally got around to reading the Assassin's Creed novels and am now on The Secret Crusade which is giving me the same trouble the first Assassin's Creed gave me, its fucking boring and I can't stand Altair. I totally ripped through the previous 3 novels but this one I know is gonna take me a while because I have to force myself to read the damn thing.

I will write more on both the AC novels and the games I've played recently but I wanna talk about something else right now. grab some popcorn and get comfy...

Recently I got involved in some BS argument on Raptr because some people don't understand what an opinion is. Why am I bringing this up? because I can, and because it annoys me.

A while back i wrote  review about a game called Realms of Ancient War, a game that was panned by many and has a pretty crap score on Metacritic. If you or the asshole I argued with on Raptr have actually read my review (Here it is!) you will see that I mention the bad reviews. I mention the barebones nature of the game and the non-existant difficulty. I enjoyed the game immensely but I'm not blinded to its faults. I also make note of some games in the same genre that I have played and enjoyed and the flashes of those games that I found within R.A.W.
If you look at said review you will also notice that I wrote it in October, so why the hell this became some jerk's personal crusade NOW is beyond me. If you'd like to read that, knock yourself out.

My beef isn't that someone disagreed with my OPINION. Not the first time, won't be the last. My problem is that this person seemed determined to belittle me by making assumptions and you know what happens when you make assumptions.
Most of his rant is based on my being an "amateur"

Am I an "Amateur" gamer? I don't know, maybe, maybe not. It depends how you quantify Amateur Vs Experienced.

Do you base it on number of games played? 
genres played? 
games completed?
 games where you completed them AND got all achievements if applicable?
Years played?
Consoles played?
Knowledge of the underpinings, engines etc of games? 
Amount of knowledge about the industry in general?

By some of those standards I might be an amateur, by others no.

But I'll address his points here and you be the judge...

• Have you ever played another hack and slash rpg?
• Indeed I have played many and it is mentioned in my review of RAW

•  I watched the trailer and it looked like Diablo 3 kinda, and kinda like Baldur's Gate Dark Alliance and I enjoyed both of those so I figured, sure, why the hell not. 




•   I'm not the best person to ask about graphics, they don't matter much to me unless its an absolute eyesore. But this game  was pleasant enough to look at. It very much looked like the old PS2 games I loved, both Dark Alliance games, Norrath, Gauntlet.

(Both Taken from the review of RAW) 


• saying a game is definitely worth $15 but not having any experience before hand on the subject is an amateur move. Because of this you have no idea the core mechanics that this game is missing.
• I believe the above proves my "experience" with the genre

• I advise you just give Torchlight a shot and you will see why this game isn't worth the money.
• This is directly from my Steam list : Torchlight     79.5 hrs on record  Yet I still stand by the fact that *I* personally liked RAW I believe the above proves my "experience" with the genre

• Welcome to the internet if you don't want to be judged by your opinions then you don't make a blog about them
• This is an argument I've seen on every damn site I have ever gone to. You know what? NO, just NO. The fact that something is on the internet doesn't give people the right to treat another person like crap or tell them they can't have an opinion unless they agree with them. yes my blog is public, yes I encourage people to post their comments but this is NOT a democracy, it is still a PERSONAL blog, I don't have to take insulting, belittling comments or be "prepared to be judged". Thankfully most of the people who come here and share their thoughts are intelligent and respectful and I enjoy hearing from you guys both here and on my OMG Facebook
  
  

• The point being not knowing your subject before hand is amateurish.
• I believe the above proves my "experience" with the genre

• Also i've got 20years of gaming
• What did that have to do with anything? But for the record while gaming wasn't something I was very into I've had console sand been playing since 1983

• I'm sure you haven't even heard of Champions of Norrath, Dungeon and Dragons heroes or Baldur's Gate Dark alliance 1 and 2. If you had played those you wouldn't think this was worth the time.

• I want my "real" co-op back. Like, Champions of Norrath. I can't count how many times we've played that.(From a blog post about Co-op gaming)

• I'll say this again in a more polite manner even if i'm being a dick try the demo for torchlight and you will thank me.
• From my Steam Game List:
  Torchlight II
  

  21.9 hrs on record

• Torchlight 2 Beta was pretty great, can't wait for that to come out (From a quick note posted a while back)

• i love how i'm apparently the belittling and insulting one when i've only said one direct insult
• Quotes from his posts: 

• Have you ever played another hack and slash rpg?




• saying a game is definitely worth $15 but not having any experience before hand on the subject is an amateur move. Because of this you have no idea the core mechanics that this game is missing.




• The point being not knowing your subject before hand is amateurish.

• As for not knowing what games you played i had asked if you had played them maybe show a little common courtesy next time when someone asks you a question rather then insulting them.
• I found no reason from the start of the conversation to bother handing a resume of my qualifications or lack thereof. However, much like how I saw he played Counterstrike on his Raptr profile, he just as easily could have informed himself of my own experience in gaming by glancing at mine.

I have never claimed to know more than I do, I have never claimed to be an expert. I am no journalist or a professional reviewer. I review games I enjoy, I list why, I list why not. You read it, you agree or disagree. I'm cool wit that. My problem isnt that he disagreed with me. Its that he wasted both our times with this pointless drama. The situation should have ended when I stated that we were both entitled to our opinion.


Above I posted some questions about the necessary info or lack of it to "rank" someone "Amateur" which I feel is another useless term right up there with "Casual Gamers" and "Hardcore Gamers" and "Fake Geek Girls" and "Real Geek Girls" etc. I'd really love to hear what you guys think of theses things, Leave a comment here or on my Fb (BTW, I feel very guilty that I spend more time in short rants on my OMG FB while taking so long to write here. I do promise I'll be giving some game impressions for my recently played games....if you guys wanna hear them that is.)

Speak Up guys, I don't bite, I promise and I'd love some more viewpoints on this whole crazy Gamer world and its issues.