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Wednesday, April 22, 2015

STOP TELLING ME TO GIVE DRAGON'S CROWN A CHANCE!!

As you all know I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE The disgusting, repulsive and insulting character model of the Sorceress chick in Dragon's Crown, and to a lesser extent the Amazon Warrior as well. I've refused to purchase or play the game because of it.

A while back the game was free with PS+ and I happened to add it to my account like I do pretty much all the PS+ games because DAMMIT I'm paying for Plus aren't I? However I never played the game.
Now, I've gotten a lot of shit on several sites for my mild boycott of Dragon's Crown due to the character models.
I've been told to "lighten up" because that's just the artist' "style". I've been told that I "don't have to play as those characters if I find them SOOO offensive. there are other characters" I've been told that I "should give the game a chance" before I criticize.

I thought about all that long and hard...and as someone who plays games that are sometimes off the beaten path and not well known I felt that...well...maybe there is truth to that.

After all nothing chaps my ass as much as someone talking shit about Hatoful Boyfriend or Hakuoki when they have no damn clue what they are about and are merely judging them on a few screens and what they perceive the genre to be about.

So I decided to swallow my ire and try the damn game....after all there ARE other characters right? and everyone tells me the game is better than a bathtub full of Nutella so..fine...ok...

I'm here to tell you right now...
FUCK ALL OF YOU AND DON'T EVER TELL ME TO GIVE THIS FUCKING GAME OR ANY GAME A FUCKING CHANCE AGAIN....
EVER.


Let me run down my experience real quick here...

I chose the Magician. Why? Because he didn't have disgusting tits and giant cellulite thighs and ass exposed and he does magic...and I love magic.

I go through all the basic shit and am given a "tour" of the town and all is well til the shop.
More giant tits shoved in my face unnecessarily...Wonderful. But, I soldier on.


I reach a point where I find out that I can add more characters to my party. You get these characters by picking up bone in dungeons and bringing them to the church to be resurrected. You don't know who these bones will be til you get to the cathedral. I picked up 2 sets of bones and when i go to resurrect them...Its 1 pin headed warrior guy and that hamhock thighed she beast Amazon. I opted to just be short people and only chose the pin head until eventually I was able to pick up bones for another wizard and the only sensibly dressed female of the lot, the archer.
So all's well that ends well, right?

Wrong.

When you complete a quest from the guild you unlock a small written story and some art. Well that's kinda cool, isn't it?
Yeah, it was...until the second quest I completed...


Seriously?
For real?
No lie?
You think THIS is what I want as a payoff for completing a fucking quest?
A grotesque looking, mostly naked elf slut?

This is unnecessary. It adds NOTHING to the story or the enjoyment of the story. Its gratuitous bullshit. And the worst part is...there's no escaping it beyond turning the game off.

I gave the game a fair shake. I decided I wouldn't "talk shit" if I hadn't actually given the game a try and decided I would "just play a different character if that one offends" me.
But that didn't stop the game from shoving its juvenile fantasies in my face, did it?
So now, y'all can STFU.
Veni Vidi and think its disgusting pandering crap.
SO DONE!
Oh and for the record, I think the gameplay is pretty shit too...so no great loss to my collection there.




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