Monday, February 1, 2010

Where have I been???

   I know, I know, I've been awful quiet here (as opposed to everywhere else).
I've been doing something I don't do too often...actually playing games. Currently playing Fallout3, Dragon Age Origins, Mass Effect, Bayonetta and random PSP games.

   Last night I played the Dante's Inferno Demo and I must say, I'm even less interested in this game now than I was when it was first announced. Now, I read The Divine Comedy many many years ago in high school and I really liked The Inferno, Purgatorio was ok and Paradiso about put me to sleep; Seriously, artists, writers, whatever, they always paint such a boring, dull image of heaven. But I digress.
   The point I want to make is that I don't dislike the Game Dante's Inferno out of some deep rooted loyalty to the original work (though seriously, I'm surprised Dante Alighieri hasn't risen from the grave to massacre everyone at EA...perhaps with the help of Virgil.).

    I'll take this step by step.

    I fired up the game and squinted to read some blurry text, then I was treated to Dante the self mutilation freak sewing a cross to his chest (WTH) after a while I got to control Dante. He controls like Kratos after drinking a few casks of wine.The fighting was dull and repetative. I know I know, God of war was repetative, but you know what (and this is my personal opinion before ya'll get up in arms) I never got tired of fighting as Kratos, it was a sort of "murder ballet". Because his weapons were on chains fused to his arms most of the fighting had you twirling and spinning and swinging the Chaos Blades and it flowed, it was smooth and beautiful to look at, and incredibly deadly. Dante might have the killing power but most definitely not the moves.
    Now I know that the "good" enemies come later in the game but the pathetic little wraith/zombie/WTH things I fought were weak and obnoxious. Also, I'm sorry but the whole absolve or not thing...NO, just NO. Harvesting or healing little sisters in Bioshock worked because it was a pause in the game  with a specific scene given to the little sister struggling while you attempt to do one or the other. However In Dante's Inferno while all the other little pathetic minions waited for me to "purify" their little buddy, the big spinning wheel a la Indiana Jones Boulder  was not as patient.

     Then, I got to fight Death himself, the big ole Grim Reaper (would have been a lot more fun had he been voiced by the whoerver voices Grim in th Billy and Mandy). Being a big Castlevania fan I've fought death many times, hell in Portrait of ruin it was Dracula-Death. Usually for me at least those fights with Death can be and death situations. (Death has wiped the floor with me on many occasions). So I was prepaired to get a mssive butt kicking by all of death's awesome powers. HA!
     I slapped him arounda bit, took away his Scythe and then made him cry like a little girl and kiss my patent leather hooker boots (ok, ok, he just spit polished them).
      After this snoozefest, at this point my daughter is looking at me like I should be shot for playing this rather than Fallout3 and asking me "Dude, why are you playing this, its crap, just like 2 worlds, its a demo, you don't HAVE to play it all! Just stop and delete it." (ahhh wisdom from the mouth of babes.) there's some sort of cutscene or something and beatrice dies and gets taken to hell and if I didn't miss the point here....The reason she is  in hell and Dante is in deep crap is because....she gave it up cause he was off to war and then he got some on the side while he was at war and she's pissed...HUH? Yeah, I have no flippin' idea what's going on and I really don't care to.
     I actually found myself enjoying the demo do Divinity 2 better. Also my daughter was really in a mood to give me shit last night (because I interrupted her Fallout3 game to play some demos). AS I played through Dvinity 2 I was polite and nice to everyone.  When I play Fable 2 I'm nice and polite to everyone, when I play Mass Effect, I'm polite and nice to everyone...well you get my point. My daughter thinks this is silly and I should answer like myself. After a few conversations in Divinity she asks me, "Why are you always so nice, be mean!" I responded, but then people won't like me and it might screw up later quests. She rolled her eyes at me and said "You do realize this is a demo, right?" I felt just a lil dumb at that point.

    My daughter Ghani however, she doesn't hold it in. She smart mouthed EVERYONE on the Normandy before they got to Eden Prime. Lately she had been playing a lot of make-up and dress up games on the DS and I thought that they were making her soft....yeah, I was wrong...Sometimes, she scares me...I'm so proud!

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