Friday, December 2, 2011

Am I just Contrary by nature?

So, I've got a hell of a sinus infection and have been sick as a dog for a death's door sick. How do I know I'm death's door sick? I not only felt an itch to play the PS3, I actually moved it from the living room to the bedroom so I could play in bed (got electrocuted in the process too).

I started off playing White Knight Chronicles which was a lot less fun the second time around. I roamed around for a while killing random monsters til I started getting sleepy and then said "screw it" and decided to pick something else to play.

After staring at my games like my brain had checked out fora good 20 minutes I pulled 2 games out. Heavy Rain and Uncharted (the first one).

When Heavy rain came out there was so much hype about it. Everyone who has played it has told me how great it is and how I NEED to play it. I waited til the price dropped and picked it up. First time I decided to play it...well it didn't happen. My PS3 decided it needed to update EVERYTHING. After 45 minutes the damn title screen finally came up and I promptly turned it off.

So last night I decided to take the plunge and experience this ground-breakingly amazing cinematic gaming experience. I start the game and i'm looking at some sleeping dude. Ok then. The game tells em what buttons to move and press to get him up and about and I encounter my first problem, besides the fact that the controls are ass, I can't read the prompts. They are so fucking tiny and so hard to make out. I struggle through it all and run through this guys morning routine. Shower, Tooth brushing, Shaving...What am I playing? the Sims? We move on to dude's wife coming home and nagging me about dishes. Then because I didnt turn the stick slow enough, I had to listen to that shrew nag about her damn mother's plates. WTH? I get nagged enough in real life.

Continuing on in the adventures of  awkward walking dead eyed Ethan...we go to the mall and the wife needs shoes for the younger son and...for some reason Ethan and his older son ca't go into the shoe store...why? No idea.
If you haven't played the game *SPOILERS* ahead

The kid runs off and gets spanked by a car. Honestly dude. the beginning of the game was his 10th birthday party. He can't figure out to not get lost in a crowded mall, not go outside the mall and how to look both ways before crossing the street? Fucking kid deserved to die, too stupid to live.

 So after this disastrous beginning I plod on and now Ethan is apparently divorced because his kid bit it and he brings his other son home after school...the kid looks like a zombie and sounds like one. Ethan isnt much better. and looking at his "thoughts" and then pressing a button to hear exactly what I just heard is retarded and redundant.  

At this point my husband and son have come to watch me play and they are both wondering why the hell I'm playing this boring crap. It really feels like a horrible version of the Sims made less interesting by the fact hey are speaking English and I can understand their boring badly voiced words.
After another boring ass walk around the apartment I finally get mutant boy to sleep, shit happens that is not remotely interesting and now i'm someone else. A fat detective. This was the only part that was remotely  engaging. Except for the hooker's Uncanny valley horror of a face. I got into a fist fight with some douchebag, and since I could barely read the prompts on the screen, I barely won. Once I got that outta the way, the game jumped to another character. At this point, my son was asleep, my husband was laughing at the shitty game I was playing and the new character says his name is " Nahman Jayden (Norman Jayden).

That was it, I lost my shit and turned the game off and moved on to Uncharted....
Heavy Rain can bite me.

I had quit Uncharted after getting knocked off a ledge one too many times by a firey swinging lamp. This time, however, having not played in a while I realized something I should have the last time I played, I didnt have to brave the lamps, I could avoid them. So I got past the splattering deaths and moved on to dark corridors and scary creatures. I was having a fine time. Then I hit a snag of enemies shooting at me and creatures ripping me apart. It took me about 15 tries to get past one section and by then I was too tired to keep going, so I quit. But, it wasnt a rage quit, just an "I need a break quit". i'm 97% done and am looking forward to finishing so I can hit Uncharted 2 which I heard is so much better. (of course, knowing me, I'll hate it)

And that is my problem..or, well, not really a problem, more like a quirk.

I don't know if maybe i'm just burnt out on games, if I have incredibly bad taste or if other people have bad taste. I've noticed that, I do not enjoy a lot of the popular games everyone else loves.

Assassin's Creed...Fell asleep right after the tutorial, however I like Assassin's Creed 2.
Skyrim, while I have managed to actually have fun playing it now, I stand by a lot of my criticism of it in my earlier post.
Fallout New Vegas, I had a hard time getting into this one as well.
Heavy Rain, utter contempt.
Demon's Souls, hate it with the fire of 10,000 suns.
Space Marines, that demo was too ridiculously stupid for me to ever buy that game.
Alan wake..NO, just NO. ughh
...and there are so many others.

On the flip side, there are games I like that are considered utter shite.

Devil May Cry 2, It was kinda easy, and Dante didnt talk as much...which isnt a bad thing. I enjoyed it
Dynasty Warriors any number, I enjoy the killing..sorry K.O.-ing of a billion duplicate dudes.
Soul Calibur Legends, Wii waggle fun at its best (and that was not meant to sound dirty)
Gauntlet Legends and Dark Legacy,  I just replayed Dark Legacy recently, I love those games.
...and thats just to name a few.

Is it that I expect too much and then the hype leads to my disappointment. Do I just need a gaming break? Is it generally bad taste? Or is it just that fun is so subjective no one can predict what they will like until they actually try it.
All I know is that I get a hell of a lot of crap from people for not liking games that are considered "great".

I say live and let live. I am not really into War shooters, but I'm not going to insult someone that likes them. My husband doesnt like RPGs and that's cool, I love them and its not going to stop me from playing them.
Opinions are like assholes...I just wish people would understand that their Sliced Bread might be my Bird Feed and that's ok for both of us.


mrslilypond said...


But I lurvs you anyway. We should chat soon!

SihayatheFremen said...

Yes we should. you know you could always CALL ME!!!

mrslilypond said...

call? I know...I should I even have your number saved. Ok I'll call you 8:30 am on Tuesday! While the rugrats at preschool