Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Akiba's Trip...I should have spent my money on bubble gum and cardboard instead

I hurt my wrist beating up 48 idols in a row. Man those bitches were annoying.
48...that really seems like an unfair number.

While i'm still playing the damn thing I've decided Akiba's Trip is a shitty game. No, not just because of the 48 bitches I had to fight in 1 damn fight, though that was really fucking annoying and my wrist really does hurt (it aggravated my carpal tunnel).
Its more because the game is just..meh.

First, loading screens..EVERY FIVE FUCKING SECONDS. While Akihabara might be faithfully reproduced It isn't fluidly reproduced. Every time you walk half a block its a new area and you're hit with a loading screen. Sometimes, you didn't wanna go to another area but you just kinda ran into the barrier between them and so now its gonna be TWO loading screens. One to get you there and one to get you back to where you wanted to be.

Even worse is the pop up. Whenever you go anywhere it takes a few seconds for the people to just appear out of nowhere. So if you're looking for someone...well good fucking luck because you might be standing where they are supposed to pop up and therefore, you won't see them.

Add to this that side missions are timed, and timed in the most annoying manner...
You get a side mission, if you haven't done it after a bit you get an email annoying you, telling you the person is going to cancel their request if you don't fucking hurry up and get it done. If you don't get it done immediately after that email, you will fail it and there isn't a big gap of time between the email and failure...and no it doesn't give you a time limit that you can actually measure or see. Just "hurry up and do this or you fail...oops...not fast enough fission mailed"

Then there's the combat..The whole point of the thing...stripping idiots clothing off...well it really isn't as fun as you would think.
There are different weapons and each one is completely shitty.

Example... Computer Monitor if you choose a low strike, you squat down and bash your own head with the monitor and if you are lucky this causes minor damage to your opponent, if he's standing close enough to you...WHAT?
Combat do you fuck this up? By making the low strike button launch my character into some weird sort of planking move that is useless and leaves me wide open. By making the high strike cause my character to hold his arms up in victory before attempting some slow  drunken lunging swing that ALWAYS misses and ALWAYS gets my ass beat.

combat goes like this... Punch guy a few times in away and heal...try to punch guy and instead do a stupid useless move that gets me beat away and heal...try to hold down the button to throw a punch and avoid stupid useless animation and instead try to grab clothes that aren't ready to be stripped, play tug of war with the enemy and lose..repeat this over and over and over again for every single enemy you encounter.

Its not fun, its not funny and "Synthisters" is a really fucking stupid name for man made made vampires is a stupid thing too...This game is fucking dumb and shitty. Even Conception is better. At least Conception is funny.

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