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Monday, September 26, 2011

totally embarassing? Oh yeah!


So, I have played Gears and i've finished the campaign. I laughed, I cried, I cheered...i'm madly in love with Baird..yeah, that shocked the hell out of me as well. Man i hated him in the first 2 games. Last book, he grew on me, so I was able to appreciate his brand of "asshole" in a new way this time around.

Way back when, I bought my Xbox360 because of Gears of War commercials, which is funny because I didn't buy Gears of War for a while after I got it. First game I bought was The Darkness. Eventually I did buy Gears and it just sat there for a while. Finally I tried it and barely got past the beginning. First Behemoth and I was DONE.
I asked my husband if he would play with me, because maybe we'd get past the Behemoth together, but he wasnt all that interested. I nagged for a while and he finally agreed. That was actually worse than our recent Dungeon Siege ordeal. He kept shooting at the ground and going down, I kept getting killed trying to save him. It ended with me throwing a fit, cursing him out and him declaring he'd never play with me again.
So Gears sat on my shelf and eventually was joined by Gears 2 and no one touched them.

It took a long while to get him to game with me again and since we did so well with Borderlands he decided he'd try Gears with me again. Shame it took us so long to play it because we both loved the game. Except for the fact that he found that whole Dom-Maria shit touching and I found it annoying.. I mean damn Dom, whine more why don't you? Cole was awesome, but who doesn't love Cole? We bemoaned the fact that the only Asian bit it and I wondered why the hell Anya was walking around on high heels. Its a damn war put on some sensible footwear! Baird was an incredible prick and I hated every single time I had to hear him spout more douchey crap.
Being sucky players we played on Casual and it was just easy enough to get us to keep going even the few times we hit a hard patch. Except the end, man that was frustrating as hell, but after much death and cursing we got through it. funny thing about the whole thing. I have like ZERO desire to ever play as Dom (though I have to because DAMMIT Gears 1 gives you achievements for playing as Dom which I find utter BS, but I'll get o that) but I found it strange that my husband has no interest in being Marcus. Why the hell not? Marcus is awesome dammit!! i don't get it at all.

As I was saying, Dom-only Achievements really piss me off. WTF is up with that? Why don't I get achievements for playing as a guy with no neck, a disfiguring scar, a scruffy do-rag and a voice like gravel yet managing to be absolutely hot? I deserve an achievement for that. What does Dom do? Besides whine more about Maria than Tony in West Side Story?
I know I know, he was a bad ass  Commmando when Marcus was just a grunt but hat was the Pendulum Wars man, ancient history..well it feels like ancient history. Now he's just Marcus' shadow.
I'm bitter about those achievements if you can't tell...damn achievement whoring!!

So we finished Gears and barely stopped for breath before starting Gears 2. Which..I don't care what others say...was 10 times better than the first one in every way.

I do admit that there were a few cheap deaths....like the time I was standing on deck and the Leviathan ate me...WTH?? Can'ta person get a heads up?? But that was more of a hilarious cheap death than a frustrating one...I will also cop to getting  bitch slapped into a pancake by a tentacle a couple times.

Right here I wanna take a moment to say... Benjamin Carmine died a horrific death and he was a damn fine Gear! Ant not so much...

Once we finished Gears 2 we finally decided to try Horde mode. I got double chainsawed so many damn times. But it was fun as hell.
By the time we finished Gears 2 I had read all the Gears books so I was warming up to Baird. I was amused that when we played Horde mode without really thinking about it, we chose Baird and Cole.
We didnt make it too far, Hubby got tired of dying and we quit after I think 7 waves.

We'll skip through the horrific drama....ok, no i wont, i'll just sum it up real quick...

I ordered the Epic Edition of Gears 3 MONTHS ago from Amazon. Release day delivery of course. My daughter jokingly said "you're gonna be running to the door every half hour to see if its here and looking out the window like a sad puppy"
How right she was.
And by 5pm I was a rabid puppy cause I had no Gears. I chewed out Amazon, they blamed UPS and said "sorry"
I was spitting fire.
Next day it was supposed to arrive before 3pm... Sad angry puppy spent all day running to the door...by 5pm, I was in a murderous rage. Sent another angry email to Amazon.

Eventually I got my game and embarassed myself for all to see in a video my daughter put on her Facebook, which you will get to laugh at below.

Gears 3 was definitely worth the $150 and the frustration to get it. It was definitely the best of the 3. The funny bits were funny, the sad bits made me cry and the shooting things in the face bit was incredibly satisfying.
Baird was awesome, Sam was a bitch, Sam and Baird were hilarious snapping at each other.
While I was not expecting Mataki to be sporting dreads, The kitty fur was present and she was sufficiently badass, I approve. Wish there had been more of her in the game. She was definitely one of my favorite characters in the books.
I can't say much about it cause I suck at not giving spoilers...
Just that, if you liked the first 2 you'll love this one and that you might want a box of tissues handy, or maybe I'm just too girly, cause I cried, even after a second playthrough I cried.

After we finished the campaign we tried Horde mode and again, without really thinking about it I chose Baird and my husband chose Sam and between the two of us we beat down the Locust with one liners and insults...
I kid...but only a little.
We made it to wave 20 before throwing in the towel. I got smacked down so hard I'm still feeling it haha.

But, I promised you a really embarassing video...
A few things before I do.
Yeah, I look like a scrubby bum most of the time, so basically how I look in that video is how I look all the time.
Second, no, I'm not sick or losing my voice...I always sound like Popeye and Joan Rivers' lovechild.
Third, yes, I really love my statue that much.
and finally...yes, my kids are goofy, dirty little ragamuffins and I love em like that.

So its kinda dark, super dorky, and very embarassing (there might even be a bra on the floor in one shot) but here you go:







Edit: While having a conversation on Gamespot about this I wrote something that I should have added here, so, here's a little PS:

 Reading the novels, which are very well written will really get you to look at the game differently. One of the big things with 3 is that it was written by Karen Traviss, the woman who wrote the books, the first 2 werent.
She really knows how to bring out each character, fleshing them out so you feel like these are people who are really going through this massive hell along with their own personal demons. so while the game has this whole "fate of the world" thing going on, you walk away thinking about the people in it and wondering how they will deal with whatever happens afterwards....


4 comments:

Jim said...

ha ha ha ha that was just awesome.

did you trade your first born for that swag o_O

I'm happy to say Amazon has always been on time or early with my loot.

Gears really must be an awesome game.

I some times wish I got a 360 instead of a PS3 until I remember I use the PC more than all my consoles put together

Sihaya said...

While I would have traded my first born, I just had to drop $150 for it. And amazon in contrition and believing my original package lost, sent me a new one. :)

Gears really is awesome. I LOVE that series to bits.

My PS3 STILL gets no mileage

mrslilypond said...

Why isn't frog wearing pants? Boys :)

I totally wasn't expecting your voice to sound like that.

you are a goofball

Sihaya said...

Frog does not believe in pants! lol
What did you think I would sound like?
I know, I know..I sound like popeye sucking helium. haha